Week 24

So we've reached "viability" week. According to the march of dimes, the babies have a 39% chance of survival if they were to be born now. I'm praying that they stay in there and bake for much longer! 

This week has been a little tough. I felt like I have a big growth spurt and that my belly is huge. I've definitely noticed that it gets in the way more of doing everyday things. I can't reach into the bottom of the washer or clothes hamper (doesn't help I'm only 5'2), my stomach gets in the way when I try to wash dishes, I can't reach the cereal on the top shelf because I can't lean forward! Its harder to change positions while I'm sleeping and I definitely wake up to roll over. I can't make it through the night anymore with out waking up to use the restroom :( unfortunately my bladder makes it until 5:15am and then its hard to go back to sleep for only an hour :(

Pregnancy Highlights:

Today's Date: Wednesday, March  28th, 2012

How Far Along: 24 weeks

Size of babies: The babies are 10.5-11.8 inches long and weigh between 12.7 and 20.8 pounds. (same as last week)

Total Weight Gain/Loss: According to my scale, I've gained 9 pounds so far. 

Maternity Clothes: Yes, I'm definitely in "mom" outfit now that that the weather has gotten warmer. I have maternity capris in every color. While I preferred cropped length pants, I don't have much of a choice in maternity. 

Gender: Girl- Emma Cate and Boy- Holden.

Movement: Still moving a lot. Peak times are around 11:45 after I eat lunch, and in the evenings while we're watching TV. Emma Cate's side is definitely more active than Holden's. I'm wondering where he's at and can't wait to see him on the ultrasound. 

Sleep: See above. I am definitely tired during the day and a nap is needed at 3pm.

What I miss: my normal sized chest

Cravings: sandwiches and mac and cheese

Symptoms: Definitely heartburn. I have to take medicine twice a day to help alleviate this. The colostrum has calmed down a bit. I've had few growing pains and lately a headache but I think that is more allergy related than pregnancy.

Best Moment this week: Our first baby shower! So much fun!

your baby's the size of a grapefruit!

Your 10.5-to-11.8-inch fetus weighs about 12.7 to 20.8 ounces and every week she gets closer and closer to being ready to survive (and thrive!) in the outside world.

Week 23

I cannot believe that I am 23 weeks already. After such a sluggish, touch-and-go first trimester, I feel like I am breezing through the 2nd trimester (with some minor complications). 

I've done a pretty good job of reporting the events that took place this week so not much to say in my weekly summary. I am now one day out from having the tube removed and I feel like someone punched/kicked me in the kidney. I am soooo sore. I'm using a heating pad (on my back only- no fried babies!) at work and not getting up unless absolutely necessary! 

The babies are moving around like crazy and I can't wait to hear their heartbeats at my appointment tomorrow. In two weeks I'll have another ultrasound and am excited to get a peak at their growth. 

Pregnancy Highlights:

Today's Date: Wednesday, March  21st, 2012

How Far Along: 23 weeks

Size of babies: The babies are 10.5-11.8 inches long and weigh between 12.7 and 20.8 pounds. 

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I've gained 9 pounds so far. 

Maternity Clothes: Some dresses still fit but I went on a little shopping spree yesterday and got some new cute things!

Gender: Girl- Emma Cate and Boy- Holden.

Movement: Lots of movement but only when I'm sitting down. They both like to move a lot after I've eaten. I'm starting to definitely feel them on the outside and poor Jay; over the weekend my sister Bo and I were watching TV and I told her to quickly feel my belly because they were kicking up a storm. She is the first person beside me to feel them! Jay came running over but unfortunately they stopped before he made it over! He so badly wants to feel his babies!

Sleep: Just as I was adjusting to sleeping with the tube in they've take it out and my sleep is all off. Like I said before, I am so sore and woke up several times during the night because of the soreness. I'm hoping it will wear off in a few days.

What I miss: sleeping well

Cravings: ice cream especially with the warm weather. I've also started eating less because I get full so easily. I can usually eat about half of my meal. I'm trying to eat small meals and snacks periodically throughout the day

Symptoms: Heartburn that has prevented me from eating dinner and colostrum leaks. Before yesterday, I would only leak overnight when I was laying on my stomach and my chest was pressed against the bed. For some reason yesterday in the hospital gown I started leaking while sitting straight up. I'm not sure if that was the first time or just the first time I've gone bra-less and noticed. Pretty embarrassing none the less!

Best Moment this week: Getting my tube taken out and some freedom back. Also taking a normal shower without any help was pretty great this morning! 

your baby's the size of a pomegranate!

At about 10.5 to 11.8 inches and about 12.7 to 20.8 ounces, baby's not just getting bigger, she's getting even cuter.

Week 22

Back on schedule! This has been a huge week of improvement. I'm learning how to live with my tube and hopefully will get it removed within the next month or so! I feel like a geriatric patient cruising amazon for products that make a collection bag easier to live with. I'm reviewing products along with 80 year olds. I've been having some issues with my tube clogging and had a quick visit to the hospital on Friday. I got a lovely IV (my hands/arms/veins are totally bruised from all the sticking they've received) and a tube power-flush. My tube continues to clog and unfortunately I have to visit the ER every time it does. I had a clog last night at Jay's baseball game and he had to come unclog it between innings. It didn't seem like it was moving so I had to call the doctor and the on-call doc told me that this was way too frequent it was really time for a tube change soon. Looks like I'll be back in the hospital this weekend :( but hopefully only for a short stay!

Alright,  enough about that! On Thursday I went for a visit with my OB and got to see my two adorable babes on the ultrasound. Unfortunately they are measuring a few days behind average and I'm praying that the drugs and IVs and such from the hospital stay had nothing to do with it. The doctor said there was absolutely nothing to worry about and they were growing just fine. He said those measurements are just estimates and not to give them much thought. 

Our ultrasound was to check on Emma Cate's heart since she didn't turn the right direction to give an accurate view last time. The ultrasound tech was so kind! My appointment was at the arboretum location of the practice (Charlotte OB/GYN) and the office runs at a much slower pace. The tech even put on the 3d and took a few pictures. She really took her time and explained things. I'm going to schedule all of my ultrasounds there from now on! My OB also wants to start seeing me every two weeks. I'm a little stressed trying to figure out how I can get coverage at work for all of these appointments! 

In other news, Jay celebrated his 27th birthday this year. I bought the ingredients for a yummy key lime pie and Bo whipped it together for me! Jay was also gift a radio, two sets of speakers, and installation for his jeep. I guess we've decided to keep the jeep (He has a 1979 CJ as his "fun" car. Totally kid-safe. Not.). I decided that if we were going to keep it, a radio must be installed. What is the point of a jeep without music blaring? Jay headed to Asheboro on Saturday to celebrate with his family. I've put myself on a no-travel policy (so much for the babymoon!) so my mom and sisters came to down to spring shop and hang out. The babies definitely got spoiled by GiGi and our mutual love of Kissy Kissy outfits. Aunt Bo also brought them adorable beach hats! These kids are spoiled already!

Pregnancy Highlights:

Today's Date: Wednesday, March  14th, 2012

How Far Along: 22 weeks

Size of babies: Babies are the size of papayas. We're at the point on thebump.com where the weight and length are now done in ranges. That makes me feel a little bit better about the babies' measurements from last week. They weigh between 12.7 and 20.8 oz. They are between 10.5 and 11.8 inches long. 

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Still up about 6 pounds total but didn't weigh myself this morning so we'll see.

Maternity Clothes: Somewhat. A lot of my soft cotton summer/spring dresses will still fit over my bump!

Gender: Girl- Emma Cate and Boy- Holden.

Movement: Yup. Still cannot wait for Jay to feel it! At night I sit with my cell phone on my belly hoping their kicks will push it off! I seem to have way more action going on on the left side. In the past few ultrasounds Emma Cate is always head down on my left side so her feet are above my belly button. Holden switches between being transverse across my tummy. Meaning his feet are kicking Emma Cates and his head is to the right of my belly button. He'll sometimes switch to being head down on my right side.

What I miss: taking a shower

Cravings: cookies, brownies and pasta!

Symptoms: Same from last week, terrible heartburn that starts around 7pm and colostrum leaks. I feel like my breasts are growing a ton again and everyone that hasn't seen me in a while comments on how huge they're getting. Hopefully this means good things for breast feeding!

Best Moment this week: Spending time with Jay and talking about our babies. He's done such an awesome job of taking care of me and I am just so lucky to have him. I cannot wait to see him as a father!

your baby's the size of a papaya!

During month five, the average fetus measures about 10.5 to 11.8 inches and weighs about 12.7 to 20.8 ounces.

Feeling Better

As of last Thursday (4 days ago) I've started feeling much better about my tube. As of Saturday, I haven't needed to take any pain killers and I'm thankful my babies aren't having any of that mess in their systems.

At my follow up appointment with my urologist on Friday, Jay and I were overjoyed to learn that my doctor wants to take the tube out prior to delivery. Possibly within the next month or two. My urologist is going to discuss with my Ob the possibility of doing X-rays while I'm still pregnant to find the stone and then performing surgery to remove it. So far the stone has not passed. Last Thursday evening my tube wasn't draining properly so on Friday morning I had to go to the hospital for them to take a look. Luckily they were able to flush the tube and remove the clog but unfortunately the doctor told me the pain I was experiencing from the clogged tube meant that the kidney stone was still there. Usually if a tube clogs and there is no pain it means that the stone has passed through the ureter and is either in the bladder or has passed completely.

Jay and I aren't the least bit nervous about having X-rays done while I'm pregnant. Hopefully removing the stone and the tube will improve my quality of life which will in turn improve the babies'. Right now I can't get my back wet at all so doing any type of exercise where I sweat (that would mean anytime I do practically anything) is completely out.

We completely trust the doctors and are going to move forward with whatever their plan is. Since reaching 20 weeks and having this slight complication, my Ob decided he wants to see me every two weeks. So, in a little over a week I should be able to find out how his chat with the urologist went and learn how we're going to proceed. Please keep us in your prayers and that hopefully everything can be removed and the babies will be safe through the X-rays and surgery!

Week 21

Again, I'm getting super behind on my posts. Most of the updated stuff is in other blog posts from my stay at the hospital and subsequent doctors visits! For a quick recap (pretend I'm writing this as of last week!), I've basically spent from last Wednesday until Saturday in the hospital. I was released on Saturday and came home with my new tube. It has been extremely tough to deal with but I was able to go to work on Monday and Tuesday without any issues. Today has been really rough and I'm taking a sick day tomorrow (Thursday) to rest up! 

Pregnancy Highlights:

Today's Date: Wednesday, March  7th, 2012

How Far Along: 21 weeks

Size of babies: Babies are the size of bananas. They are weighing in at 12.2oz according to the bump.com and are measuring 10.5 inches (huge jump from last week!).

Total Weight Gain/Loss: My weight has been all over the place. I think most of the fluids from the hospital are finally out. I'm up 6 pounds total. Looks like I'm gaining about a pound a week. I think I should only be gaining about a 1/2 pound so I definitely need to cut back on the ice cream!

Maternity Clothes: All the time. But loving to be in sweatpants with this lovely baggie attached to my side. Makes this more comfortable.

Gender: Girl- Emma Cate and Boy- Holden.

Movement: Definitely started feeling movement. Especially after I eat lunch and am sitting at my desk.

Sleep: Eh... trying to get used to the tube is rough. Luckily its in my right side so I've been sleeping on my left which is the recommended position for pregnancy! 

What I miss: not having kidney stones

Cravings: cookies, cakes, ice cream, any type of desert!

Symptoms: heartburn is back with a vengeance. My colostrum also decided to come in while I was in the hospital (yes, 21 weeks is pretty early... i think its from all of the fluids) and now I'm sporting some lovely "shields".

Best Moment this week: All of our sweet friends that made us meals and visited with us! It was really nice to see all the sweet facebook messages and know that people are praying for our babies! 

your baby's the size of a banana!

At 10.5 inches and about 12.2 ounces, she's big enough now that you've probably been feeling her movements.

My New Normal

I've been thinking about how to write this post since I got home from the hospital. My life has definitely changed. And while it seems trivial from the outside, I've really been battling dealing with these changes. I'm sad that my pregnancy isn't "wonderful". My mom always said that she loved being pregnant. I wish I loved it. I try to love it. I am still trying to love it. But its hard. Its hard when people say, "you've had such a hard pregnancy". Has it really been that hard? Last week was hard. This week is hard. Learning my new normal has been a challenge. But I'm up for it. I'm still lucky. I still have my Faith. My babies are doing wonderfully. They are healthy and growing and have not been affected at all by these kidney stones. I'm not in the hospital with preterm labor. My cervix isn't shortening. My babies are good.

I won't lie, I have definitely been feeling depressed since coming home. I wonder why after such a battle to get pregnant does this happen! Isn't it time for easy street? At least before we welcome to screaming bundles of joy into our lives? :)  I do things and think, "This is Not normal" and I have to think again- this is my new normal. My new normal consists of sleeping in the guest room because my large, expensive, king-sized bed is too soft for my hips to continue sleeping on my side without wrecking my back. My new normal is sitting on my feet in the bathtub and washing myself carefully with a washcloth and avoiding my back so that my bandages don't get wet. Jay holds the sprayer while I lean in the tub to wash my hair. I wake up several times during the night to make sure my "leg beg" hasn't leaked on the bed. Every night Jay spends around 40 minutes removing my bandages from my back, cleaning the remaining adhesive off and putting new bandages on. He brings my cheerios in bed along with my pain medicine so that I feel "normal" as soon as possible and don't have to deal with the pain when I wake up. I cry. A lot. When my pain medicine runs out 30 minutes before I'm allowed to take the next dose I cry. I cry because I can't bend over. I have a hard time putting my feet in the leg holes of my pants. I can't lean back on the sofa because of the pressure against the tube incision. I drive sitting straight up. I am tired.

Yes, it sucks and it is hard. But as my mom tells me, I am stronger than this. I cannot let it get to me. When I start to lose it, a good cry makes me stop and appreciate all the good that I have in my life. I have an amazing supportive husband who is not at all grossed out by living with someone that wears their urine on their leg. I cannot express how thankful I am for having such supportive friends and family and for keeping my faith. Yesterday I had a huge craving for oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. I mustered up the energy to go to the store to get the supplies to make them. Once I got home, I was too exhausted to bake. Right as I was relaxing on my couch, the doorbell rang. One of my parent's old neighbors was at the door with two plates of his wife's amazing oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. It was such a treat and an amazing way for me to see that God truly provides for us exactly what we need. Each day is getting better. I'm working to push out the negative thoughts and focus on the good. To focus on my babies and my family. So when people ask my how I'm doing I honestly reply that I'm okay. I'm getting better everyday. I can't wait until this actually becomes normal and routine. Until then I'm trying to stay positive and remembering that this is God's plan. If he didn't think I could handle it, he wouldn't put me through it!

Hospital Day 4

I woke up this morning to an annoying beeping noise and called the nurse to change my IV bag. After 20 minutes of beeping Jay took off to look for someone. Like I said previously, our overnight nurse sucked.

Finally at 7am our new nurse came on shift and happily flushed my nephrostomy tubes, emptied my bag and checked on the babies and my vitals. Having a sweet nurse makes all the difference!

I went back to sleep until the doctor came in to discharge me at 9:30. He told me to hang out a bit though and order breakfast because there were lights down outside and traffic was messed up. This stay in the hospital was the first time that I had met Dr. Wicker. He is my other primary OB and specializes in high risk. He was awesome and im so glad I got to know him a bit better in the hospital. He was by far the best on call doctor that I had and feel really good about him possibly delivering our babies :)

After a nice breakfast our nurse changed out my bag to a more discreet one, filled up two large bags full of supplies and gave me some vicodin and phengren to make it home.

I fell asleep waiting for transport to come and had a good nap. Jay grabbed me a Popsicle for the ride home and before we knew it I was relaxing on our sofa at home.

Overall the hospital and surgery was a positive experience. It was really difficult being there without my mom and I think this is the most I've missed her since they moved. It's really hard realizing they aren't just down the street anymore. I'm also really starting to get anxious about this tube. If they didn't see anymore kidney stones, I don't see the point of wearing it. I've read a lot about the high rate of infection with nephrostomy tubes and it makes me really nervous. I have an appointment with the urologist and my OB Friday do hopefully I'll get more answers then. Until then please keep us in your prayers that Jay is able to manage taking care of me and keeping the tube and dressing clean and that I continue to heal infection free!

Hospital Day 3

Today is surgery day. Nothing to eat until surgery time means a nice dose of phengren/zofran to help keep my stomach in check. The nausea/vomit has returned and I feel like Im back in the first trimester.

Early in the morning, my nurse prepped me for surgery by making me change back into a yucky hospital gown. Around 10am the lovely folks from radiology came to get me. The weirdest part was riding on the elevator while laying in bed. Such a strange feeling. The radiology nurse took a while explaining how the bag would works and all of the supplies needed to keep the tube clean. I proceeded to get sick again and was given another dose of meds. At this point I still had my magic button and was taking as many drips as I can to make sure I had enough pain medicine to really make sure I didn't feel anything in surgery.

Eventually they wheeled me back and got started. For surgery, I had to lay on my stomach the entire time which was a bit uncomfortable. They gave me a little more sedation medicine and I was pretty much out for the procedure. I remember the room being freezing and the nurse talking to me about how she thought it was fine to drink wine while pregnant (um ok).

I woke up extremely itchy. They told me to warn the doctor next time because it was a reaction to the contrast dye they used. They pumped some Benadryl through my IV and it made me really groggy.

Next thing I knew I was in yet another yucky gown (evidently I lost some blood during the surgery on my other one). I slept pretty much through the reminder of they day and was starving for lunch around 3. My nurse (who I loved!) had to check on me every 15 minutes, making it difficult to stay asleep. I also had to get up frequently to use the bathroom. I still have one perfectly functioning kidney so bathroom habits remain normal. I slept until 5:30 or so and woke up upset because I couldnt find Jay,my cell was across the room and I needed to use the restroom. I felt soo helpless!

Finally Jay returned around 6:15 and I ordered and ate dinner. I was feeling pretty good and excited when he told me we would have visitors. He even helped me straighten my hair in bed :)

I have to say how wonderful Jay has been during this time. Yes, he is different than having my mom there and yes, I missed her terrible and cursed my Dad for moving them to Atlanta but Jay was a pretty great helper. He is VERY caring and wouldn't let me do anything on my own. He wasn't so happy to follow my OCD instructions to keep the room clean but I did have an endless supply of Popsicles and help using the restroom.

Sara and Chad paid us a visit that evening and brought Jay some chick-fil-a. We hung out awhile and I showed off my new accessory bag. Ha! Around 9 my IV started to swell and I needed a new one inserted. By this time, he night nurse was on duty and she was the only thing I have to complain about the entire stay. She was such a sour puss and did everything she could to get out of doing her job. I was glad I had Jay there to advocate for me.

I eventually got my IV switched to a new spot, took some more pain meds and slept pretty good.

I'm updating the blog from an app on my iPad and can't mix pictures and texts but here are a few shots throughout the day.

Hospital Day 2

Last night wasn't too bad. The weather was great. We opened our window and had a lovely view of the Charlotte skyline. I even slept ok considering I was being woken up every 2 hours. I had a lot of pain throughout the night but my magic button kept me comfortable.

I enjoyed a yummy breakfast of zofran, an omelet, oj, hash browns and toast. The pain comtinued and I was scheduled for an ultrasound of my kidneys at 11am. I was able to take a nice long shower and even blowout my hair. Jay brought me my pjs from home and it just felt so much better to be at the hospital clean and in my own jammies.

The ultrasound tech was unable to locate my kidney stones so we're thinking that they have made their way from my kidney to my ureter which makes them nearly impossible to see. We're waiting on the doctor to figure out our next move.

We recently got an update that they would like to do surgery to put a drain in my kidney. This drain would put a tube in my back that would drain my kidney into a bag that would be worn outside my body. Fun stuff.

No eating past midnight tonight so I'm going to stuff my face with my last meal and enjoy my freedom to move around while i can.