Lets Be Honest

It's 3:12 on Friday afternoon. All my grading is done. My mid-quarter reports are sent to Edline. My desk is a mess (but what's new). I'm waiting on my afterschool kids to get here and am totally enjoying this time of silence and blog reading. I stumbled across this poem and it brought me a lot of comfort. I want to paste it here so that when I'm bitching about waking up in the middle of the night to feed my child I'll think back to this: :)

There are women who become mothers without effort, 

without thought, 

without patience or loss,

and though they are good mothers and love their children,

I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics or money or because I have read more books,

but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.

I have longed and waited.

I have cried and prayed.

I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child.

I will take time to watch my child sleep,

explore,

and discover.

I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. 

My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend, and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment, as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell that many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.

I have succeeded.

I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.

I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.

I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth when life is beyond hard.

I have learned a compassion that only comes by walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.

Optimistic

Today I've made the choice to be happy and celebrate the good things in my life. A few things I'm happy about:

1. Sun shining on my head while driving the jeep with the top off blasting music from circa 1998.
2. Purchasing our new (old) jeep today and learning to drive a 3 speed manual this weekend. (Personal Note- I have always loved jeeps. As much as I love the speed of my inifiniti, and the luxury and safety of our soon to own volvo xc90, what I REALLY love is loud music, the wind in my hair, and some mega bass... little known fact- I have two 12" subs in my accord that I got in high school...and I still love them)
3. Getting my hair did today! No more frizzies!
4. Chick-fil-a sandwich for lunch
5. A husband who loves me sooo much and has done such a great job taking care of me, our home, and our furry babies.

the new jeep

I've also decided to start making a list of things to purchase once I find out I'm pregnant. I used to worry that I'd curse myself if I bought anything pre baby but I feel like we can't be any worse off than we are now :) Here's a pics of a few things that I can't wait to have!

A worth the wait onesie.

Not that I'm praying for twins or anything but...

 I think this Bugaboo Donkey stroller is the coolest thing I've ever seen :)

That's all for now! Happy Friday!

EGG-normous

So I went in today for CD3 appointment (thats cycle day three for all you non infertility discussion board lurkers). I have an enormous 28mm follicle (follicles contain eggs until they mature and are ready to be released). Generally one dominate follicle releases the egg each month and the other follicles just dissolve. Some how this giant never released or dissolved and I learned today, threatened our chances of proceeding with the IUI this month. In addition to the ultrasound they also did blood work this morning to check my hormone levels. I called my mom pretty upset this morning because I thought our chances of conception this month were extremely low. I was positive this cycle would be cancelled.

The nurse just called and reported that my estrogen is fine and we are good to go with this cycle! LUCKILY my estrogen is 37 which is in the normal range and the enormous monster hasn't wacked out my hormones and should dissolve soon! Yay!!! I start my new drug Fermera today and will take it twice a day for 5 days. On Sunday, March 13th, Jay and I will go in early in the morning to meet with a doctor about the progress of our growing eggs. Hopefully we'll be able to do the trigger shot that night and go in for the IUI on Tuesday, March 15th. Yay! My spirits are so uplifted! March 15th is also the day Jay visits the urologist. I'm thinking of taking the entire day off to be able to go with him.

For the IUI procedure that bring Jay and I in early in the morning. Jay will give a semen sample and I will have blood work done. I'll go back at 11:00 for the insemination. I hope Jay will be able to go with me. I think it would be kind of weird possibly creating a baby without him even in the same room! I'm just so excited we're able to proceed this month. Happy Thursday!  

The Lord works in mysterious ways...

As soon as I refreshed my google reader, I saw another blog immediately following mine. The post was titled:

Pray Always. 

Intriqued, I clicked on the blog and read this verse:

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. Luke 18:1

How fitting.

If you don't read Kelly's Korner, you should. I feel like its my daily dose of Jesus :)

Food Today

Just for me:
Breakfast- Smoothie
Snack #1- Two brown rice cakes
Snack #2- Cucumbers
Lunch- Chicken sausage with onions and peppers, and an apple
Snack #3- Yogurt w/ almonds
Snack #4- Carrots and more apples
Dinner- Hmmmm..... something to go on the way to church. Sushi maybe?

I cried

I watched Bethenny last night and lost it. I was actually upset at grandparents fighting (in a good way) over grandchildren. The show focused on how babies are only babies for a short amount of time and how grandparents don't want to miss a moment and how tough that will be for Jay and I with very carrying grandparents that both live out of town. Then the doom and gloom set in and I thought what if we never get pregnant. What if that is an argument we never have. I haven't really let my mind go to that point before but yall, this is hard. It's hard on our marriage. We both want this so bad. Sometimes its hard not to place blame, to feel connected. Sometimes its hard when our parents ask us how things are going. I know they are just trying to be helpful and supportive but even the littlest, kindest word can set me off.   I cried to my mom last night and she tried to comfort my tears with promises of shopping trips for new strollers and clothes and baby nursery renovations. As materialistic/shop-a-holic as I am, it didn't even cheer me up. I only cried for a few minutes last night and then got over it. I'm sure I'll be fine... until it happens again next month.

In addition, I spoke with our nurse yesterday. She asked me if we wanted to stop trying while Jay underwent testing. I immediately replied that we wanted to continue and that "it only takes one". It definitely left doubt in my mind. Sort of a lost hope for the next few cycles. I'm praying for a miracle.

Speaking of losing it... I'm such an emotional eater. I ate 8 trader joes chocolate filled shortbread cookies when I got home last night. Plus a snack size bag of lay's potato chips and a cheese stick before dinner. Way to go Anni... Fortunately, I'm starting running with my neighbors again on Monday. I'm really looking forward to it! I am getting my hair permanently straightened on Friday afternoon and it is supposed to be straight for weeks, no blow dryer required! This should cut my getting ready time morning time down and allow for a good run :)

So I'm not pregnant

I got the results from my doctor yesterday afternoon. My hcg was zero. Surprisingly, I didn't even cry. Every other month I've cried like a baby upon learning the news. I don't know why this month is different. Maybe I've adopted that attitude that someday it will happen, just be patient. Maybe its the drugs.

We also go Jay's semen analysis back. Not quiet the results we were looking for. His count was down to 1.6 million from 4 million last time. His morphology stayed the same at 1% BUT his motility went up from 7% to 50% which is totally within normal range. Because this number grew we are going to be able to try Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) this month! You can read more about it here, but basically they will collect a semen sample, wash it to separate the sperm from the semen and then inject the "clean" sperm into my uterus through a catheter inserted in my cervix. The most romantic way to have a baby. Just kidding, at this point I don't care how this baby gets here! IUI also ups my chances up multiples from 10% to 23-30%. I don't think I'd mind getting two for one as long as they are healthy!

Speaking of two for one, in other news we have completely gone through our health care reimbursement account. We put all the money that we would use for health care over the entire year in this account and its gone, gone, gone and its only March. From now on everything comes out of pocket. No spring break vacation this year :( It will totally be worth the sacrifice though to have a healthy baby :)

My doctor also put me on a new regimen of drugs. Evidently the lining of my uterus was only 6mm and they would like it to be at least 7mm for implantation to occur. The clomid can thin the lining of the uterus so they've switched me to a new drug. I'll be taking Letrozole to "super-stimulate" my ovaries to produce more good follicles followed by a shot of Ovidrel that will release the eggs and then a few days later we'll go in for the IUI (I'm thinking sometime around March 14th or 15th but will let you know the exact dates) and follow that up with the Crinone progesterone gel. I'm still taking Glumetza for my insulin resistance and I'm supposed to be exercising and watching what I eat. I haven't done a great job of this so I'm going to go back to blogging what I eat. I feel guilty if someone reads that I ate two cookies while trying to conceive our baby after the dr. told me to lay off the sweets :)

I'm really optimistic and excited about moving forward. Please keep us in your prayers that this will work! I'd be sooo happy to stay away from IVF!

Love,
Anni & Jay

Food for Today:
Breakfast- Smoothie
Snack-  (2) Brown rice cakes and yogurt w/ almonds
Lunch- Leftover whole grain spaghetti, haricot verts, mushrooms and potatoes (not a lot!), carrots
Snack- (2) Brown rice cakes celery and cucumbers
Dinner- Sweet potato fries, chicken sausage, onions, and bell peppers

2ww

So its been two weeks since my last post. I've been trying to stay really busy and not think about this part of our lives. Kate Boyd gave me the shot and I didn't even feel it. Jay is going to practice some in the case that I have to have another one. Right now we are in the 2ww (two week wait). Waiting to find out if I am pregnant or not. I called my doctor this morning because I had not started my period and they told me I could come in to have a beta hcg test done. This test will let them know how much hcg is in my blood. The level is zero until you are pregnant! So lets hope my level isn't zero. I don't think I am based on the home pregnancy test I took this morning but I am still hopeful. Jay also went in Friday for a second semen analysis. The results just came in as I was talking to the nurse this morning. Unfortunately, the doctor has to analyze them before telling me what they are. I HATE waiting!!! Anyway just a quick update! More to come later!

PS- My parents sold their house in Charlotte and have to be out by the 17th. They're moving in with us and I'm excited that my puppies will have friends to play with while we're at work! And also excited to spend some time with my family before they move away.

FREAKED OUT

Dear Blog,
I am totally freaked out. I am so scared of giving myself this shot. Ah! I just watched the video and almost wet myself. I would take a Xanax but that might do more harm than good. Please pray that my sister does a good job.

VIDEO:http://www.fertilitylifelines.com/resources/ovidrelpre-filledsyringe.jsp

Love,
Anni

Update:
BTW- I <3 Kate Boyd. She is a mom of one of my cheerleaders and family friend. She is actually excited to give me and shot and teach Jay how to do it! Yay! Would it be creepy if I took a picture? On second thought I don't think the image of me pinching my belly fat with a needle in it is something I'd want to share :) 

Yay!

So I just heard from the doctor's office. We're going forward with the Ovidrel shot tonight... Yikes! Any experienced shot givers up for the challenge? In addition, I was told which days to have intercourse (still feel awkward typing that!), and to begin taking my progesterone on Friday. I'm instructed to call on February 28th and let the doctor know if I have had a period or not. Fingers crossed that this works!!!

Fun Tidbit- I don't want to get ahead of myself but this is kinda cool. If I were to get pregnant this cycle my baby would have the possibility of being born on 11.11.11. Maybe its a good sign!

Happy Valentines Day!

Taking the good with the bad

We enjoyed a fabulous dinner at Foster's in Raleigh on Friday night followed by an early bedtime and early morning. My sickly cheerleaders did not perform their best routine (5 had the flu!) but we still won. We also got to taste Goodberry frozen custard. YUM.

On the way home from Raleigh we got a call from Dr. Wing with some bad news. Unfortunately, Jay's semen analysis did not come back with results that we wanted to hear. The average sperm count is around 60 million. Having low sperm count is defined as anything below 20 million. Jay only has 4 million. Sperm motility (their ability to move around) should be at 50% or higher. Jay's is at 7%. Last sperm morphology (how they are shaped) is generally around 20% normal shape. Jay has 1% normal. Like I said not good news. Two days before the analysis Jay had a 102-103 fever with the flu. We've been researching a LOT and read that a fever and illness can have severe impact on sperm quality and count. We are PRAYING this is the case! The doctor told us that if he next semen analysis comes back poor he will refer us to a urologist and we will have to start IVF. Yikes. We were/are pretty panicked. Especially at the cost of the IVF $24,000 + $4,000 a month for the drugs. OMG. We are sooo thankful that our parents are so supportive both emotionally and financially and that they are all so excited for us to have a baby and would do anything for us. Just please pray that this analysis was off due to illness and that he'll be back to normal in a few weeks (FYI- it takes 6-8 week for a new batch of sperm to be produced)! We are also so thankful for an awesome doctor that took the time out to call us on a Saturday and left me his cell phone number to call him back on if I have any problems.

On another note, we went in to REACH this morning for bloodwork and ultrasound. Unfortunately Dr. Wing was not on monitoring rotation this morning (the doctors take turns doing routine ultrasounds for monitoring patients). We saw Dr. Taft and she did not have the same bedside manor as Dr. Wing. What a difference it makes. She didn't move the screen around to show me things like Dr. Wing does, nor did she explain things. From what I gathered I have 6 mature follicles on my right ovary and none on my left. I've been reading a few message boards (very scientific...not) and some doctors have recommended not going through with trying to conceive this cycle because of the high risk of multiples. Dr. Taft gave me instructions on how to administer my shot of Ovidrel (um ya right I'm giving that to myself) but told me to wait until Dr. Wing called this afternoon with specific instructions. Hopefully I'll still be able to go through with the Ovidrel (reminder- Ovidrel triggers my ovaries to release my eggs) and working on making a baby (awkward wording) this week.

Please keep us in your prayers!!!

Thank God Its FRIDAY!!!

I just love Fridays. I live for Fridays. My kids are in a good mood, work is fun, and the weekend begins in a few short hours. Plans for today include running home during planning to pack both of our stuff for our Raleigh trip and spend some time with the doggies. I also work at my school's afterschool enrichment program two afternoons a week and unfortunately one of those afternoons is today. I'm going to rush back to school,hopefully leave afterschool early and head uptown to pick up my husband. I'm looking forward to Foster's for dinner and maybe getting drinks at some of our old haunts.

Last night I got home around 6:45 and Jay was in a stinky mood (again! I'm so over this flu thing). I was angry and didn't want to speak to him so I went ahead and went to bed. He came in and apologized and things were better. Both of us realized that we weren't really hungry but had already defrosted salmon that needed to be cooked. Jay cooked the salmon and I slept. I'll be eating it for snack today.

Food Today:
Breakfast- Smoothie
Snack- I was starving so I had two containers of cut up apples and almonds
Lunch- Pasta Bar from Harris Teeter (only a 3rd of the portion they give you) and salad
Snack- Pomegranate yogurt
Dinner- ???? Something yummy and delicious!

A Compliment
The other day my friend Sara emailed me after reading my blog and paid me the best compliment. She said she enjoyed reading my blog and commented about how other blogs that just talk about fashion aren't always super interesting. Although I love reading all different types of blogs, I've decided that I don't want to blog about just material things. I still love beautiful things but I am starting to see beauty in a different way (maybe also because I don't have the big bucks coming in to afford beautiful things!). I want to blog about meaningful things, times, experiences, life, and maybe the occasional shoe, dress, purse that I'm coveting. Thanks Sara!!!

Help!

I opened a bag of Reese's cups that I found in my desk and I can't stop!!!!

Making it through the week...

I don't really have a lot to say this week. I've been pretty busy with practices and work. I'm heading to Raleigh tomorrow night for a cheerleading competition and it's our last one. I'm ready for the season to be over but I really enjoy these girls and it will be hard to see them go. I'm excited for a night away from dog and house responsibilities. I've been an excellent house keeper and all my cleaning and straightening for SuperBowl is still intact! My food has been kinda crappy. I'm out of grocery money until payday so we're making the most of what we have on hand.

Yesterday's meals-
Egg white omelet and smoothie
Leftover flying biscuit (spinach, pasta, and eggs) + creamy dreamy yummy grits
Two leftover chicken nuggets for snack
Handful of almonds
A caramel brownie (hey I made them for Jay last week and they weren't going anywhere so I had to get rid of them...in my stomach)
Chickpeas with cumin and edamame for dinner (some dinner...)

Today:
Breakfast- smoothie
Snack- celery
Lunch- piece of cafeteria pizza and grilled chicken salad
Snack- Pomegranate yogurt w/ almonds and apples
Dinner- Honey glazed salmon & arugula salad


Fertility Update: Today Jay went in for his "semen analysis". I was anxious to hear his thoughts. Of course in normal Jay fashion, "it was no big deal". I asked if he giggled when he saw the cartoon sperm on the walls like I did and he rolled his eyes. I guess I'm just a tad immature. We go back on Monday (if I haven't said that enough) to see the status of our little eggies. Can't wait!

Updates

So I didn't track my food yesterday on my blog and its a good thing. I totally fell of the wagon, two cookies, two cupcakes, a piece of fried chicken, sausage dip and scoops, pork chop and spagetti squash, yougurt with almonds, and moo goo gai pan! Whew! I will not be eating like that for sometime.

I think that reason I get off track is that I don't have a routine. Sunday nights are normally spent preping meal for the week. This Sunday was spend enjoying the company of our closest friends and sunday school class while hosting our 2nd annual superbowl party! It was tons of fun and there is still tons of mess in my kitchen. I haven't cleaned a thing which is probably why I'm not really preparing meals at home! Today will be another busy day but at least my husband will be back in town to help out (he took off super early Monday morning for Atlanta)!

Last night my Dad was able to pickup my new craigslist chairs! YAY!!!! Time to start the recovering part. I have two really busy weekends ahead of me and then things should really slow down and Jay and I can have our weekends back :)

Fertility Update: Went in for my HSG today. I was super nervous about the pain and yes and it hurt like a bitch. I was excited to see my doctor. I had no idea he was be performing the test (I was at an outpatient imaging center). I can't say enough good things about REACH and Dr. Wing. He talked me through the whole process and explained what everything meant.
Prepare for a TMI moment:
They slide a catheter into your cervix and then shoot dye into your uterus and ovaries. They then take x-rays of the dye. The test is performed to make sure that you don't have any blockage in your fallopian tubes. Luckily my plumbing is clear! I do however have a heart shaped uterus which Dr. Wing didn't think it would pose any problems but is still interesting to find out. Next appointment on Feb 14th to check on my eggs! Keep praying that their growing (but that they don't grow too big!)!!! Also today is my last day of Clomid! Hope it works!!!!

This isn't my scan but it looks a lot of like mine did. I was surprised at how weird a uterus looks! 

Food Today:
Breakfast- Berry Green Smoothie and 6 almonds
Snack- Carrots
Lunch- Leftover Moo Goo Gai Pan
Snack- Cucumbers and Apples
Dinner- Flying Biscuit with my besties! I may be a little off on the healthy-ness at the Biscuit!

Weekend Recap

Sunday morning I struggled to get out of bed

The Flu Strikes Back

Upon returning home last night I discovered my poor husband bundled up in a down blanket sweating bullets with a 102 fever. He "doesn't get sick" (his words, not mine!). I took care of him last night, fed him tylenol and called the nurse to get him an appointment this morning. He went in early and got some Tamaflu and was feeling much better during the day. He crashed around 5:00 and I'm enjoying the quiet!

Overall today was pretty productive. Got ALL the laundry done, guest bath cleaned, moved the vanity into our bedroom, and thoroughly cleaned our room. So the diet was working really well until today. I have a hard time keeping my diet when i'm not in a routine. Last night for dinner I was so tired from the week (and Zumba with Paige) that I went to Baoding and got Chicken Chow Foon. I split it up into three portions and only ate one for dinner.

This morning I woke up STARVING. Here's what I have eaten:

Breakfast:
One portion of Chicken Chow Foon

Snack:
Trader Joe's Honey Greek Yogurt with almonds and chocolate chips

Lunch:
A Berry Green Smoothie

Lunch #2:
A Salmon Patty and Baked Sweet Potato Fries

Snack:
I decided to bake brownies for Jay. Bad idea. I have one very large serving and then put the rest away. Out of mind out of sight!

Dinner:
I'm not too hungry but I defrosted pork chops last night and had to eat them so I've been marinating them all day. Accompanying the pork chops will be spaghetti squash with homemade pesto sauce and roasted zucchini and squash. No Dessert for me!

After dinner we need to head to my parents house to do our taxes and pick up some furniture and their elliptical machine which will be living at my house until May! No excuses now!

Dinners Ready! Have a Great Saturday!

Broke before the baby arrives

Fertility Update:

I just learned the monthly cost of my fertility meds... $225! Yikes! I was not expecting that. I'm praying it happens right away so we don't have to drain our HRA before the baby even arrives. It will be all worth it though :) So fertility update, I started taking Clomid today and will take it for the next 5 days.. So far so good. I go in on February 8th for an HSG test to make sure that my fallopian tubes are open and my eggs can move easily on down. They will inject me with dye and take a few xrays. Should be pretty easy. On February 14th <3, Jay and I have an appointment to "count our eggs". We'll go in and see if my eggs have matured enough to be released. If they are ready we'll have to administer Ovidrel (trigger shot) to release my eggs and then its up to us! I'm excited to get this going!!! 

Today has been CRAZY at school. We had a pep rally and that always makes the kids bonkers. It also takes away my lunch break so I have eat on the run. My cheerleaders did such a good job today and I am sooo proud of them. I don't have the video of today's perfomance but I do have another one I'm going to link up!

Food Update:

Last night for dinner I made a really simple but delicious meal. Trader Joe's apple flavored chicken sausage with sweet bell peppers and carmelized red onions. I sauted the onions and peppers for awhile then add the cut up chicken sausage and saute until its all hot. I also did roasted zucchini, squash, and Trader Joe's sweet potato spears. I am NOT a huge sweet tator fan but these were AMAZING. I would eat them all the time. In fact I think I'll have em for snack this afternoon. Yum.

Breakfast: 

Egg Omelet (which I did not drop on the floor today like I did yesterday!)

Berry Green Smoothie

Snack:

Skipped for today

Lunch:

Apples

Snack:

I'm starving! I'll probably have some Trader Joe's Honey Greek Yogurt with almonds and some carrots

Dinner:

Hmmm. Haven't planned that one yet. Maybe we'll go out for something. I've pretty much used up my weekly stock of veggies. Got lots of meat though. Pork chops and sweet potatoes? 

And so it begins!

I had another appointment with my fertility doc this morning. Strangely I feel a sense of comfort when I'm there. You arrive and are sent upstairs for blood work and sent back down for ultrasounds. You're there so often that the nurses who work in the lab know you by name. We are all there for the same reason and secretly rooting for each other with kind smiles and polite exchanges on the elevator.As much as I like the clinic, I'm will be so excited to be done with that place (meaning we're pregnant!)!

Today's appointment went well! I'm starting on Clomid tomorrow. I'm going to take clomid for 5 days and then a week after I stop the medicine I'll go in for an ultrasound to check on my eggs. If they have matured and are ready to go I'll be given a shot of Ovidrel which will trigger my eggs to be released. Please pray that everything goes perfect and that this works on the first cycle!

Last night's meal was sooooo good. Salmon was delicious, pretty healthy, and super easy to make. After dinner I was still on the hungry side so I made another berry green smoothie (only 2 WW points) and some popcorn. Definitely did the trick! I need to figure out what I'm going to do for tonights dinner.

Today's Breakfast:
Egg white omelet with peppers, ham, onion, and fat-free cheese
A Berry Green Smoothie.
2 Chocolate Chip Cookies (don't fault me there is a bake sale going on for a good cause!)

Snack:
Apples

Lunch:
Grilled Chicken Salad
Carrots
Celery

Snack:
Trader Joe's Honey Greek Yogurt
Almonds

Dinner:
?

I'm also heading to the gym for a little zumba and a 2 mile run. Take that cookies!!!

Furniture Update: I bought these chairs on craigslist and my Dad is bringing them home from Atlanta next week. Woo Whooo! Planning on painting them antique-y white and reupholstering with a tan/linen fabric and nailhead trim.

I'll be back to update with a dinner recipe!

A Berry Green Smoothie

So part of having PCOS means that I am extra susceptible to weight gain, the inability to process insulin, and a serious craving for carbs (oh so that explains it!). I've been trying to lose weight and got thrown off with my parents moving, trying to have a baby, bronchitis, flu stuff. After my appointment yesterday I am back on the healthy kick for my sake and my future children's.

So for breakfast today I ate an egg white, bell pepper, ham, and fat-free cheese omelet. YUM. My omelet was accompanied by my first every Berry Green Smoothie, a new creation. Here's the (soft) recipe.

1/2 cup Almond Milk
1 cup Trader Joe's Green Plant Juice
1 1/2 cups Trader Joe's Frozen Berries (blue berries, strawberries, and raspberries)
1 large handful of spinach

Blend all ingredients together. Feel free to play around with the proportions. It was a greenish-maroon color (very appetizing) and delicious. It was the perfect sweetness and super healthy!

Snack today is celery and 1oz almond butter for a snack. Salad with grilled chicken for lunch. Cucumbers, carrots, and apples for munchies during the day, and blueberry greek yogurt with almonds for my afterschool snack.

Dinner will be weight watchers glazed salmon, roasted butternut squash (my friend Adri's blog, a great place for whole food healthy recipes), and salad.

Recipe for Salmon:

	2 Tbsp honey
	1 Tbsp fresh orange juice
	1 Tbsp fresh lemon juice
	1 Tbsp hoisin sauce
	2 tsp Dijon mustard
	1/4 tsp table salt
	1/4 tsp black pepper
	1 1/2 pound(s) salmon fillet(s), with or without skin, four 6-oz pieces
	1 spray(s) cooking spray

Instructions

• Preheat broiler.
  
• Combine first 7 ingredients, and stir well with a whisk.
  
• Place fillets on a broiler pan coated with cooking spray. Brush with honey mixture; cook 12 minutes or until fish flakes easily when tested with a fork, basting frequently with honey mixture. Yield: 4 servings (serving size: 1 fillet).

So now we know...

This morning I had my first visit with Dr. Wing at REACH (reproductive endocrinology associates of Charlotte). It's been about 7 months of trying to get pregnant with no success. Thanks to some recommendations and encouragement by friends we decided to see a specialist. Best thing we could have done! After a half-hour chat with Dr. Wing he guessed that I had PCOS or Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, a luteal phase defect, and dysfunctional ovulation. A quick ultrasound confirmed his diagnosis and within minutes he was discussing a treatment plan.

Dr. Wing and his nurse could not have been nicer! I know it seems odd that I'm excited about having fertility problems, but I'm just so thankful that they seem easy to fix and that I've found a doctor that really listens and wants to help us have a baby!  I feel like I'm in such good hands and am so excited to start treatment and hopefully meet our baby in the next year :)

I'll go in Thursday to begin the first of several rounds of hormone testing and ultrasounds. I'm going to start taking a medication that improves the quality of my eggs. (If you are interested in learning about the therapy, click here) Around the time of ovulation, the doctor will give me a shot that tells my body to release the egg. From there on I'll take hormone supplements to make sure that our little embryo sticks and we become pregnant. Please keep us in your prayers as we begin this new adventure!!!

BTW- It may seems weird that I'm sharing this on my blog but I'm hoping that anything I share will help any of you who will ever struggle with infertility or have questions in the future. 

Good stuff

So today is day #3 with the flu. I woke up to some very sweet texts from church friends hoping for my speedy recovery and offers for homemade chicken noodle soup. I've haven't had much of an appetite and look like a rag-a-muffin so I declined visitors. 

Couch aka Infirmary and my two nurses (since my husband is off playing tennis!)

I've watched our entire DVR and some Law & Order reruns. Now that I'm bored with TV, I've taken to craigslist shopping for new dining room furniture and researching houses for my parents. I've discovered one of the best things about them moving to Atlanta is that Atlanta's craigslist is WAY more awesome than Charlotte's. And with my Dad now living in ATL, he can bring things home on his weekend visits (that is if he will allow something second hand in his car... very picky about furniture that one). I'll also have to convince him to drive the Tahoe, which is doubtful. Maybe I'll just have to make the trip down there soon! 

So I'm still looking for those Louis XV chairs. If you find any under $100 a chair buy them for me! Haha! 

I'll leave you my housing pick for the 'rents! Pretty classic Georgia if you ask me!

BTW- If you've wondered why the blog posts have increased, its because I'm now blogging on my circa 2003 Dell Laptop, last used: The ZTA house. Dad fixed her up for me and now she's running faster than the circa 1999 desktop that Jay and I have thoroughly enjoyed. Haha!

A little update: I think Jay is beginning to feel sorry for me because he just agreed to take-out sushi from Nikko for dinner tonight. 
YYYYYEEESSSSSSS!!!!

Today Sucks

Maybe later in this journey I'll come back and write about why, but for now I'll just leave you with today sucks.

Decorating help!

I feel like this is the only thing I post about because I can't upload pictures anymore because my computer is still dead! It needs a new power cord and a new hard drive because mine is full. I don't particularly want to purchase and install a new one but I'm sure you don't really care either way. 

So more about the house...

I want my dining room to look like this:

via decorpad.com

Things I need include some great queen anne chairs, a farmhouse style table, wallpaper (not sure of the color yet, maybe chocolate?), some glass lamps and silk shades, and my husband to put up a LOT of molding (luckily molding is his favorite house project so that shouldn't be a problem!). 

NEXT:

I would like to make over my family room/kitchen area. Right now we don't have an eat in kitchen and i feel like we need a table. Whenever we have people over we gather in the kitchen and usually eat a meal in front of the TV. I would like to convert my family room to a dining area/sitting room in front of the fire place. This would involve moving my sectional downstairs and getting rid of our leather furniture. Or possibly moving the soft leather couch in our office upstairs. Either way I want to incorporate a wing chair that my mother-in-law gave us. Its a very pretty green pattern but I'm not sure how much it will fit into "vision". I'm thinking of slipcovering the wing chair like  Three Boys did.

Her Before

And After

What do you think?! The only problem is that I'm having problems finding the exact slipcover she used and I'm very picky. I don't want a stretchy microfiber one. Yuck.

Also on the list is redoing my grandmother's vanity. Jay and I now have to be at work at the same time and in my perfect world I would build a bigger bathroom (and master bedroom for that matter) but my real financial world says "I think not!". So instead I'm going to get rid of my bedside table and use the vanity instead. I'll now have a place to get ready without fighting Jay for the mirror, while my makeup falls in sink filled with water and the remnants of his shaving cream.

My vanity looks something like this but in a cherry stain. I think I want to paint it white and do a little antique-ing. The bench is a horrible floral pattern and is begging to be recovered. 

Whoa. Just found this vanity on restoration hardware. I'm in love. In my perfect world. 

And for my next decor idea I want to make a headboard for our sad mess of a bed. Right now we're just mattresses on risers. This is what I want. JoAnn's fabric on South Blvd. has all designer fabrics 50% off until Sunday. I'm going to get some measurements and head on down. They've got some great stuff and it includes special order fabrics! 

Happy Wednesday!

So yesterday sucked and today's not much better.

So yesterday I learned that my parents are moving to Atlanta. I feel like I was just punched. I have been extremely stressed and anxious lately and to add this on top is well ugh.

Prayers Needed

Well this is mainly a request of my two readers, but I just called my sister Allie about our run today and she was really upset. Her ex-boyfriend's (Ryan) mom was diagnosed with lung cancer at the end of last summer. Around Christmas time she was told she had about three months to live. Today they moved her to hospice and said it will be a matter of days and hours. I couldn't even talk to her about it on the phone. It makes me ill to think about three great kids losing their mother. Please pray for their family.

Inspiration

So with inspiration from Mary Clare, I've decided that blogging at work is ok :) and probably the only way that I'll ever update this thing. So as my students type away using the program our school purchased in 1992. I'll pretend I'm working on my typing skills also.

So what to blog about... I've got lots of posts to catch up on. Fun family Christmases, our low-key New Years, our trip to the Biltmore Estate, but for now I'll start where I'm at and what I'm doing now.

My biggest thing for 2011 is to eat healthy, be active, and lose weight! This trying to have a baby has really gotten me down and when I'm feeling low I lay on the sofa and stuff my face and watch junk (which does nothing to help fertility). So I joined weight watchers (watch out Jennifer Hudson) and have started training for a half marathon (one of my leftover resolutions from last year). If you're interested, I'm following the half marathon plan found Here. I'm also going to be that annoying girl that talks about what she eats. Its like therapy for me. So stealing from MC I'm going to post a Menu Monday (and hope it lasts). So today is Wednesday and I'm behind but here goes:

Monday
Lunch- Zero Point Veggie Soup, Baked Potato with fat free cheese and Canadian bacon
Dinner- Leftovers from the holidays (I know its a little gross by this point)

Tuesday
Lunch- Zero Point Veggie Soup, Baked Potato with ff cheese, Canadian bacon, and bell peppers, spinach salad with prosciutto, zucchini, and bell peppers
Dinner- YUMMY weight watchers baked chicken recipe which won't copy and paste from the WW website so I'll have to type it later.

Wednesday
Lunch- Spaghetti squash with WW creamy tomato sauce, leftover chicken breast,
Dinner- Slow cooker burritos (WW recipe... will update when I figure out how)

Thursday
Lunch-Spaghetti squash w/ creamy tomato sauce, leftover chicken breast, salad for some greens
Dinner- WW Shepherd's pie. We'll see how this one goes!

Friday
Lunch- Leftovers
Dinner- Takeout from somewhere. I'll be chaperoning a sleepover with 40 cheerleaders so we'll see what happens!

Time to go run before cheer practice. Yay (sarcastic).

So blog... I've been a really bad blogger. I'm also resorting to texting blog posts because now that school is out I am computer-less! I think today will be the day I finally buy a new power cord to replace my dog chewed cord for my laptop and I'll be back in business. I may even clear my old pictures from my hard drive so that I have space to upload the new ones. Hell I may even update facebook photos.

So today is the first day of my new weight watchers lifestyle ( their words not mine). Let's hope this goes well. Especially considering Christmas is right around the corner! If I can make it through the holiday and lose two pounds I can do anything.

So today's plans include cleaning my house, hanging Christmas lights and mailing Christmas cards ( I mean it's not the 21st of December or anything!) I'm also excited to throw in a trip to the salon for a fresh ( I despise using that word bc my husband loves it so much) cut and color. Yay!

Merry 4 days until Christmas!

Bo's 21st and NCSU Homecoming!

We had a great time celebrating Bo's birthday over the weekend at the NCSU tailgate. All of the food I prepared was delicious and we had soooo much leftover. I was excited to catch up with so many people that I hadn't seen since college. I completely forget to take pictures, but stole a bunch from my Mom's camera.

Yum Yum Pasta

This pasta is SOOOO good and SOOOO easy! The only thing it's missing is the healthy part... oh well!

I add mushrooms to mine just because I like em! I also used whole wheat penne and about 3 tablespoons of flour because the sauce just wouldn't thicken.

Creamy Chicken Penne

Rated: Submitted By: Taste of Home Prep Time: 20 Minutes Ready In: 35 Minutes Servings: 4

"This quick-to-fix pasta dish has all the right ingredients to become a family favorite - chicken, pasta and a flavorful sauce that gets its velvety richness from cream cheese. Reduced-fat cream cheese could be used."

INGREDIENTS:

2 cups penne pasta, uncooked 3/4 pound boneless, skinless chicken breasts, thinly sliced 1/2 cup chopped onions 1 tablespoon olive oil 1 (6 ounce) package snow peas 1 small red pepper, chopped 2 teaspoons minced garlic

2 tablespoons butter 1 tablespoon flour 1 1/2 cups milk 4 ounces PHILADELPHIA Cream Cheese, cubed 1/2 cup DIGIORNO Grated Romano Cheese 1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh parsley

DIRECTIONS:

1.	Cook pasta as directed on package. Meanwhile, cook chicken and onions in hot oil in large skillet for 6-8 min. or until chicken is done, stirring frequently. Add snow peas, red peppers and garlic; cook and stir 1 min. Remove from heat; cover to keep warm.
2.	Melt butter in medium saucepan. Stir in flour until well blended. Gradually stir in milk. Bring to boil; cook on medium heat 2 min. or until thickened, stirring constantly. Add cream cheese, grated cheese, salt and black pepper; cook 1-2 min. or until cream cheese is completely melted and sauce is well blended, stirring constantly.
3.	Drain pasta; place in large bowl. Add chicken mixture and sauce; toss to coat. Top with parsley.

NCSU Homecoming!

Yay! I'm just so excited about homecoming this weekend. NC State is playing Wake Forest in the "family bowl" (both of my sisters when to Wake Forest). My whole family is tailgating together to celebrate my sister recently turning 21. We've planned a yummy menu centered around various dips. Here's our tailgate menu:

Hot Dips

• Rotel's Sausage Dip (a Sadow family favorite)
• Spinach and Artichoke Dip (a new one from food network)
• Buffalo Chicken Dip (borrowed from Miss Mary Clare)

Cold Dips

• Yummy Dip ( I don't know what its called but I got it from Jennifer and its yummy!)
• Veggie Dip
• Hummus (recipe from The Food Network 50 Tailgating Dips)

Hot Stuff

• Tailgate Casserole (a new one from this random website)
• Meatballs (a Keske (my Mom's fam) family tradition)  

Lots of pictures and reviews to come! Have a safe & fun weekend!

First Baby Purchase!

So no, we're not pregnant... yet, but I'm still going crazy looking at cute baby things. One of my requests has always been an antique high chair. I would definitely forgo the convinence of a highly functional plastic-y modern high chair for the look of a wooden antique that would fit in well with our decor. I've put off buying anything baby related until we see that + sign until today.


Now, here is how my no baby things rule was broken. The other night, I was over at my parents house and my mom and I were talking about baby things. I told that I wanted the rocking chair that is in the guest room at my parent's house to put in a nursery. The rocking chair is the one that my mom rocked all of her babies in and I would love to have it. I knew she had used it for all of us but didn't know how it came to be a part of our nurseries. I learned that when my Grandma would ask my Mom when she was having children, she would reply, "when you see a rocking chair in my house". So my Grandma went out and bought my Mom a rocking chair. I was born shortly after. 


After telling me this story my Mom said to me that she ought to buy me a high chair in hopes it would work like the rocking chair did. The following day, my good friend Lauren (who is awesome at antiquing. We share many emails back and forth from our desks at work with links to various craiglist items) sent me an email with a link to the most adorable dark walnut stained high chair and it was a steal! Only $50! I quickly forwarded it my Mom who loved it and decided that it should be ours. Not wanting to jinx our luck, my Mom is planning at keeping it at her house until we are sure a baby is on the way! Look at this adorable little thing! I can't wait until I have something adorable to put in it! 

Redecorating!

So I've been itching to redecorate recently. I'd like to incorporate more antiques and vintage items in my "pottery barn-esque" style of decorating. I'd decided to work on the foyer and the dining room.

Our foyer is grey and small and has horrible lighting (love the environment, hate the way the energy saving lightbulbs look. My wonderful handy husband recently titled the floors for me and his latest project is adding picture frame molding underneath the chair rail. I love how its coming together. My problem is decorating the rest of the room. We inherted this picture from my mother in law and while I love the picture, I'm not sure if I love it there. Any suggestions? Also, I'm not sure if I want to paint the lower half white or leave it grey and keep the picture molding white.

A few looks I like...
 
Image via Worthington Mill Work

We're also planning on doing the same thing to the dining room. I'm thinking of repainted the dining room also. The colors didn't turn out the exact way I wanted.

So here we are

I've just realized its been o almost two months since the last blog post.

Show Us Your Life- Living Room

So a blog that I read, Kelly's Korner, asked readers to show pictures of their living rooms. I loved the idea and spent a few hours going through all of the readers posts. My favorite decorating ideas come from other people so I've had fun looking through everyone's living rooms.

Here are a few pictures of ours from renovation phase until now. We bought our house in March of 2009. It was built in 1968 and had not really been updated since. My requirement was that the house had a basement to hold our man cave and serve as a playroom for our future kids. We've made lots of renovations and I'm proud of how far we've come! We still have a LONG way to go to make this house where we want it but we're working on it :)

First few days in the house, we got the room painted and then used it as a staging area for all the renovation supplies

Got the furniture arranged but needed to find a media cabinet. You can see storage in the back right corner too!

My fab craigslist find! Only $100

This is the view from the foyer into the living room.  I love our huge window in the front. I keep debating on putting up window treatments... I love the afternoon sunshine and we don't use this room ever so privacy isn't a concern. This is sort of what it looks like now, except we've added artwork and I change the theme around with the season. My goal this weekend is to get the shells down and start getting fall decorations up!

This is our front entry way. We recently put in tile but I don't have any updated pictures. If you walk in the front door and turn to your right you are in the living room.

Egg and Spinach Muffins

I heard about this recipe from my Sarah, my hairdresser. Sarah always has yummy good for you recipes to share with me!

Egg and Spinach Muffins
(I add mushrooms too!)

Wonderful Weekends

Now that school has started, I long for weekends. My favorite part is being lazy. Unfortunately there was none of that this weekend.

Friday concluded by meeting up with girlfriends + Jay at Monterrey for Mexican in our PJs. I'm so thankful to have friends that I can completely be myself around. We enjoyed sipping monster margaritas (who we blame for the terrible Saturday headaches) in our t-shirts, pj pants, and ponytails. We polished off the carefree night with a little vino and watching football while cuddled up on couches in the basement.

Saturday was a marathon of football games. I was at the field from 12:30-8pm with my cheerleading squads. Saturday night was the Wolfpack away game. Jay and I woke up early on Saturday, worked out and began preparing for game day. We made spaghetti, sausage dip, and cut up veggies for our guests to much on later in the evening. As you probably know, I do not get things done ahead of time. This Saturday meal prep was extremely uncharacteristic of my procrastinator self! Luckily I was "rewarded" by doing things ahead of time as the football games ran way overtime and my guests arrive before I did. Thanks to Jay the food was heated and ready to be served upon my arrival. We enjoyed spending time watching the game with Mary Clare, her new boyfriend Casey, and Jennifer and Brian. The five of us Wolfpackers enjoyed the victory and laughed until our sides hurt from telling college stories :) We had a great time reminiscing.

On Sunday I had my first experience with Pure Barre. Whew! This workout is supposed to change my body in only 10 sessions... I'll let you know how that goes! Jay and I both got to enjoy family time on Sunday. I participated in family workout with my mom and Allie. We had a blast winning all the races and enjoyed making a mess with flour. Upon clean-up, I met Jay and his mom and aunt Vic at the lake for an afternoon of sun, and house viewing (more like dreaming about my life in a lakeside mansion). Funny glitch with the lake- I was supposed to call Jay when I left the house and for some reason, recently I've been leaving my cellphone behind. Sunday was no exception. I had to stop and scrounge for change to use the pay phone at a gas station on south blvd. Lovely. The phone didn't even work and it took my last $.50 (who knew it cost $.50 to make a phone call!!!) I continued out to the lake and a nice kayaking couple let me use their phone to call Jay.