Im not going to lie. I have been in a major funk lately. After bringing the twins home, I felt great. We brought them home on Sunday and by Wednesday,I was ready to be onmy own with them, ready to be in a routine, ready to start our family. I was on my own that Thursday and it was great! On Friday, my mother in law came to visit and planned to stay until the following Thursday. She came to visit with the best of intentions to help me out but at this point I was ready to exert my independence and be on my own with my babies. I think we both had very different expectations and it made this visit tough for both of us. She left on Thursday morning and my family arrived in town on Friday. On Saturday we headed out of town to visit my husband's grandfather. We arrived home to a small party to celebrate my sister's birthday.
While all of these visits were fun, they also made it tough for me to get settled in my new role of mom to two! My family left on Sunday and the very next day, I spiked a 103 degree fever and was diagnosed with mastitis and told that I needed to bring in some help and get lots of rest. By Friday my mom left and I was alone with the babies for the first time in at least 2 weeks. By Saturday, my fever spiked again and I've been in the hospital since. Jays parents came in on Saturday night and stayed until my mom arrived on Sunday to take care of the babies.
Now, I'm hopefully being released tomorrow both my mom and Jay will be leaving (my mom has to go back to Atlanta for a house showing and Jay has to go out of town for work). I am getting the independence I've wanted and I'm terrified. I feel like it has been forever since I've cared for them all on my own. I cried this evening when Jay and my mom left the hospital. I know being independent with my babies is something I have to do but it makes me scared to jump right in. Don't get me wrong, I am very confident in my abilities, it's just going to be so different than it has been.
The hardest part of parenting for me so far is the lack of continuity. Just when I feel like I have it all together I get thrown a curve ball. As I'm typing this I can see veteran mamas laughing aloud and saying that's how the rest of my life is going to be and I'm acknowledging that with a smile on my face. Maybe I just came to my own solution through writing this post. Nothing with children will be predictable. I'll be diving in head first, unsure, all the time. I won't always be able to ease in. The routine that I love will change several times, especially with newborn babies. My newest lesson learned in parenting? Flexibility. That's what I'm going to work on this week. I can't predict the future but I can adapt to whatever comes my way and I can do it with a smile and without resistance. I know that God is there with me through everything and I am a firm believer in the cliche that God doesn't give you more than you can handle. Time for me to step up.
Happy Monday!
Monday, July 16, 2012
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Can you buy stock in CMC?
On Monday, July 9th around 12pm I started feeling terrible. It was just like having the flu. I couldn't get warm no matter what I did. I was running a 103 fever. My breast had a small pink area on it and it was firm to the touch. Dr. Google informed me that I had mastitis. I called my Ob and they immediately called in a prescription for antibiotics.
That afternoon I had an appointment with the lactation consultant and she confirmed mastitis.
Mastitis is absolutely the worst. I could move out of the bed, let alone take car of my babies. Thankfully on of my cheerleader's mom came over Tuesday morning, sent me to bed and took over. She has 16 year old twins and is a natural at baby care. I don't know what I would have done without Kris. The babies were fed, changed and soothed and all of my laundry was done and bottles cleaned.
Tuesday evening my mom arrived to help me until I felt better. By Thursday I felt like a new person! We all even went out to dinner. Friday was great too.
Saturday morning went pretty well. We were lazy and just hung out in our pjs. Around 12 I started to feel terrible again. The fever was back at 102.5 and so were the extreme chills followed by hot flashes. I called the Ob back to see what was going on.
They decided to admit me to the hospital. I cried. I did not want to be away from my babies. I figured that I might have to stay over for the night so I brought a few essentials with me. When I arrived they confirmed mastitis and determined it was caused by staph and the staph was resistant to the oral antibiotic. I was started on an Iv of one of the strongest antibiotics. Looks like I'll be in the hospital for at least two days..
Last night was so tough being away from the babes for the first time. I confess I cried myself to sleep. Thank goodness Daddy brought them to the hospital today (Sunday) to visit! Hopefully I'll be released by Tuesday and will be able to spend the rest of the week at home with my almost one month olds!
That afternoon I had an appointment with the lactation consultant and she confirmed mastitis.
Mastitis is absolutely the worst. I could move out of the bed, let alone take car of my babies. Thankfully on of my cheerleader's mom came over Tuesday morning, sent me to bed and took over. She has 16 year old twins and is a natural at baby care. I don't know what I would have done without Kris. The babies were fed, changed and soothed and all of my laundry was done and bottles cleaned.
Tuesday evening my mom arrived to help me until I felt better. By Thursday I felt like a new person! We all even went out to dinner. Friday was great too.
Saturday morning went pretty well. We were lazy and just hung out in our pjs. Around 12 I started to feel terrible again. The fever was back at 102.5 and so were the extreme chills followed by hot flashes. I called the Ob back to see what was going on.
They decided to admit me to the hospital. I cried. I did not want to be away from my babies. I figured that I might have to stay over for the night so I brought a few essentials with me. When I arrived they confirmed mastitis and determined it was caused by staph and the staph was resistant to the oral antibiotic. I was started on an Iv of one of the strongest antibiotics. Looks like I'll be in the hospital for at least two days..
Last night was so tough being away from the babes for the first time. I confess I cried myself to sleep. Thank goodness Daddy brought them to the hospital today (Sunday) to visit! Hopefully I'll be released by Tuesday and will be able to spend the rest of the week at home with my almost one month olds!
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
3 Weeks
At three weeks old (7/11/12):
Celebrated our first 4th of July! We watched the fireworks in a newly built park near uptown. The park used to be a mall parking deck and Mommy watched the fireworks there when she was little.
We went to a doctors visit with Mommy and met the doctor that delivered us. The nurses that had taken care of me at the practice loved meeting the twins!
Went on our first long car ride to Asheboro to meet our Great Grandpa Caviness. He is in love with the babies and was soooo happy to meet them. We did really well and slept the entire ride there and back.
We celebrated Aunt Allie's birthday with friends and family. Mommy and Daddy learned to eat with one hand while holding a baby. We're getting talented!
We had a lactation appointment and we both have gained enough weight for mommy to get the okay to breastfeed us! Unfortunately, mommy also got mastitis and our Gigi came back to help take care of us.
We also started taking 3oz instead of 2oz at each feeding and are working on dropping a nighttime feed. We feed at 9pm and let the babies sleep as long as they can. They are making it until 12:30am to feed and then wake again around 4:30am. We're enjoying this extra bit of sleep.
We got our first tub baths this week. Emma Cate cried most of the time and Holden was pretty relaxed.
Grandpa set up your pack n play and we think you enjoy laying around with everyone in the family room and it helps keep the dogs out of your faces!
We started cloth diapering full time this week and love it! We were spending $13.99 a DAY on Pampers Swaddlers for you guys so this switch has made us very happy :)
Emma Cate-
You are still our peanut! We have several nicknames for you (your daddy especially), Sweet Pea, peanut, sassy, and petri. When you're awake, you want to look at everything. You are very inquisitive. You are my independent girl. You'll sleep by yourself in the pack and play and are content in the swing. You are getting fussier but a diaper change and some milk and you're all better. You still love to sleep all squished up and rarely straighten your legs out. You love your hands by your face. You have reflux that is causing your nose to be stuffy. When we feed you, you make little snorting sounds. You lost your belly button cord this week. You are so fun to be around and I love our mommy-daughter talks when I'm holding you. I always knew I wanted a daughter and I love developing this relationship with you.
Holden-
Boy you are growing! I can't get over how big you're getting. Compared to Emma Cate, you are both gaining the same percentage but you feel so much more like a newborn than a preemie when I hold you. You are wearing mainly newborn sized clothes and some of your preemie stuff is too small! You seem like my laid back buddy. You like to sleep but you're keeping your eyes open more often. You love to be held. Recently, you've been getting upset and the only cure is to hold you. You love to be held and cry when I out you down. You don't like to be in your pack in play alone. You are one hungry boy and chug your bottles so fast that we have to stop you and burp you several times to slow you down. You're really having a battle with gas lately. It makes me sad and Im not always sure what to do to help your little tummy. I absolutely love having a son and you are such a bright spot in my life :)
*Im blogging from my iPad so pictures will be posted once I'm home on my computer.
Celebrated our first 4th of July! We watched the fireworks in a newly built park near uptown. The park used to be a mall parking deck and Mommy watched the fireworks there when she was little.
We went to a doctors visit with Mommy and met the doctor that delivered us. The nurses that had taken care of me at the practice loved meeting the twins!
Went on our first long car ride to Asheboro to meet our Great Grandpa Caviness. He is in love with the babies and was soooo happy to meet them. We did really well and slept the entire ride there and back.
We celebrated Aunt Allie's birthday with friends and family. Mommy and Daddy learned to eat with one hand while holding a baby. We're getting talented!
We had a lactation appointment and we both have gained enough weight for mommy to get the okay to breastfeed us! Unfortunately, mommy also got mastitis and our Gigi came back to help take care of us.
We also started taking 3oz instead of 2oz at each feeding and are working on dropping a nighttime feed. We feed at 9pm and let the babies sleep as long as they can. They are making it until 12:30am to feed and then wake again around 4:30am. We're enjoying this extra bit of sleep.
We got our first tub baths this week. Emma Cate cried most of the time and Holden was pretty relaxed.
Grandpa set up your pack n play and we think you enjoy laying around with everyone in the family room and it helps keep the dogs out of your faces!
We started cloth diapering full time this week and love it! We were spending $13.99 a DAY on Pampers Swaddlers for you guys so this switch has made us very happy :)
Emma Cate-
You are still our peanut! We have several nicknames for you (your daddy especially), Sweet Pea, peanut, sassy, and petri. When you're awake, you want to look at everything. You are very inquisitive. You are my independent girl. You'll sleep by yourself in the pack and play and are content in the swing. You are getting fussier but a diaper change and some milk and you're all better. You still love to sleep all squished up and rarely straighten your legs out. You love your hands by your face. You have reflux that is causing your nose to be stuffy. When we feed you, you make little snorting sounds. You lost your belly button cord this week. You are so fun to be around and I love our mommy-daughter talks when I'm holding you. I always knew I wanted a daughter and I love developing this relationship with you.
Holden-
Boy you are growing! I can't get over how big you're getting. Compared to Emma Cate, you are both gaining the same percentage but you feel so much more like a newborn than a preemie when I hold you. You are wearing mainly newborn sized clothes and some of your preemie stuff is too small! You seem like my laid back buddy. You like to sleep but you're keeping your eyes open more often. You love to be held. Recently, you've been getting upset and the only cure is to hold you. You love to be held and cry when I out you down. You don't like to be in your pack in play alone. You are one hungry boy and chug your bottles so fast that we have to stop you and burp you several times to slow you down. You're really having a battle with gas lately. It makes me sad and Im not always sure what to do to help your little tummy. I absolutely love having a son and you are such a bright spot in my life :)
*Im blogging from my iPad so pictures will be posted once I'm home on my computer.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Baby You're a Firework
Happy 4th of July a day late! We are so thankful for our country and it always makes me so proud when we go out on the 4th to watch fireworks and see so many people of so many different cultures all coming together to celebrate our country and our freedom. We are grateful for all who have served our country and continue to serve.
Our 4th of July was just as routine as any of our days with babies have been. I was a little sad to be at home and not on the lake or at the beach or pool celebrating. We were even too pooped to get the grill out and settled for a boiled hot dog "cookout". We did get our flag out and hung though. I decided yesterday that I wasn't going to let the holiday go by without any fanfare so we dressed in our red, white, and blue and made plans to watch fireworks at night. We took the babies to a little green grassy area that was developed as part of revitalization of the greenways in Charlotte. They had planted "golf course grass" and it was the perfect family spot to lay out a blanket and watch the show that was going on a few miles away. Several other families had the same idea. We didn't have to worry about the noise being too loud for the babies or it being too smokey. It was warm outside and the babies slept sooo well. They woke up for bottles and then Emma Cate watched a little of the show. Holden was out! While we didn't have the best view of the show, we did have the best time with our family!
Our 4th of July was just as routine as any of our days with babies have been. I was a little sad to be at home and not on the lake or at the beach or pool celebrating. We were even too pooped to get the grill out and settled for a boiled hot dog "cookout". We did get our flag out and hung though. I decided yesterday that I wasn't going to let the holiday go by without any fanfare so we dressed in our red, white, and blue and made plans to watch fireworks at night. We took the babies to a little green grassy area that was developed as part of revitalization of the greenways in Charlotte. They had planted "golf course grass" and it was the perfect family spot to lay out a blanket and watch the show that was going on a few miles away. Several other families had the same idea. We didn't have to worry about the noise being too loud for the babies or it being too smokey. It was warm outside and the babies slept sooo well. They woke up for bottles and then Emma Cate watched a little of the show. Holden was out! While we didn't have the best view of the show, we did have the best time with our family!
First outfit of the day
family phot
our little fireworks exploding
mommy and holden... second outfit of the day
ready to go to the show!
Mommy, Gran, and Babies
3rd outfits of the day
loves his daddy
so lucky to have such a great daddy!
love this one
family of four
Gran and her grandbabies
our tired little ones
the spread
Aunt Bo took a break from studying to join us!
Emma Cate liked to cover her ears
sleepy baby in Daddy's arms
my guys!
my attempt at shooting fireworks!
our wide-eyed babe
trying to stay away
Gran and Holden
Mom my ears!
Going Home and the First Week
We expected to be released on Saturday but unfortunately, my blood pressure was still up and my hemoglobin was still low. We saw my primary doctor on Saturday morning and he said no way was I going home. I also asked him about my uterus and he told me that it would heal just fine and that I would be able to carry children again. I wasn't too concerned but felt better being reassured. During rounds on Sunday morning, the peditrician on call was worried about the twins weights. Emma Cate lost 11% of her body weight and Holden 8%. She told us to strictly bottle feed... and began my relationship with my pump! On Sunday morning, my blood pressure jumped again they pushed my discharge back. I had to have 3 good pressure readings (taken every two hours) before they would let me know. Luckily I was able to be released at 3pm. We got all dressed and dressed the babies after their 3pm feeding and waited and waited to the discharge to happen. We were finally out of there at 5pm. The transporter who took me down was mean and yelled at Jay to push the cart with our stuff. He wouldn't even slow down so that Jay could take pictures! While waiting for Jay to get the car I got extremely overheated and sick feeling. We couldn't get out of that hospital fast enough! I was still sick on the car ride home so we didn't take a ton of pictures. We arrived home to a beautifully decorated house complete with two storks announcing the babies arrival. It made me cry when we turn in the driveway!
The twins did fabulous on the ride home but when we got to the house, the crying ensued. Both twins were screaming and the dogs started going crazy. We had high hopes to bring them home just the two of us and spend time together getting settled as a family of four. 30 minutes after getting home I was bawling to my mom (who had just driven back to Atlanta) to come back and help me. I think that was the most overwhelmed I've ever been! One thing that I didn't hear a lot about was the crying spells. For the first week, I would cry all the time! I'd look at the babies and cry that they were ours, I would spill a glass and cry, I would be doing nothing and start to cry. On top of the crying, I still wasn't doing great physically from the blood loss. I was dizzy and hot a lot and not eating. Thankfully my hormones are much more balanced now! It just took some time for everything to settle down.
On Monday, we started to establish a routine and things got so much better. I was relieved and way more confident. We had a visit with the lactation consultant at the pediatrician's office (who is amazing) and she suggested that we continue to pump for all of the babies' feedings and try feeding at the breast once a day when time permitted. Both babies had gained some weight since discharge the day before. I'll also note that my milk came in on Saturday while in the hospital and holy cow I don't even know what to do with all of it! I feel really blessed that I'm producing enough. The lactation consultant was shocked by how much milk my body was making. Evidently I've got enough to feed four babies. I am so thankful for this blessing (but curse it since I have to pump every three hours so that I don't become engorged).
My mom arrived Monday night and was a huge help in getting things going. Jay returned to work on Tuesday. I was so sick of being in the house that on Tuesday I begged my mom to go to lunch. I know it was early but the weather was beautiful and the twins slept through their first lunch out at Cowfish! It was so nice that we did it again on Wednesday at Cafe Monte. My mom left on Wednesday afternoon and I cried (in the pediatricians office waiting room) when she left. Thursday was my first day on my own with the babies and we had a great day! I love being their mommy. My mom and aunt returned late Thursday evening and Friday morning they helped out with our newborn pictures before heading out to Philly to move my Dad into his new apartment.
On Wednesday afternoon, we had our first visit to the pediatrician. The babies are doing well but not gaining the weight they'd like to see. They are now taking breast milk fortified with enfamil and she bumped us up to 2 ounces per feeding
A few things about the first week:
The twins are getting good at a schedule. We feed every three hours at 6, 3, 9, 12, and then start over again. They were taking an ounce each but at their feedings but have now moved onto two ounces
They are great sleepers and we generally have to wake them up for each feeding
I'm really lucky in that my weight has dropped off pretty quickly. I have 10lbs to lose as of their one week birthday. I haven't really noticed it in my face or arms but all of a sudden my legs are back and my feet look skinny again! I was overweight when I got pregnant so I still have a long way to go but this is encouraging.
Even though I've lost weight, no one prepared me for how my stomach would look after twins. So much skin...Its weird that even when I flex, my abs are non-existent. I'm eager to start exercising.
My c-section scar has healed wonderfully. I left the hospital only taking advil and am truly feeling great. I've heard horror stories but seriously my c-section (minus the uterus mishap) was so easy to recover from!
Pictures from the week:
The twins did fabulous on the ride home but when we got to the house, the crying ensued. Both twins were screaming and the dogs started going crazy. We had high hopes to bring them home just the two of us and spend time together getting settled as a family of four. 30 minutes after getting home I was bawling to my mom (who had just driven back to Atlanta) to come back and help me. I think that was the most overwhelmed I've ever been! One thing that I didn't hear a lot about was the crying spells. For the first week, I would cry all the time! I'd look at the babies and cry that they were ours, I would spill a glass and cry, I would be doing nothing and start to cry. On top of the crying, I still wasn't doing great physically from the blood loss. I was dizzy and hot a lot and not eating. Thankfully my hormones are much more balanced now! It just took some time for everything to settle down.
On Monday, we started to establish a routine and things got so much better. I was relieved and way more confident. We had a visit with the lactation consultant at the pediatrician's office (who is amazing) and she suggested that we continue to pump for all of the babies' feedings and try feeding at the breast once a day when time permitted. Both babies had gained some weight since discharge the day before. I'll also note that my milk came in on Saturday while in the hospital and holy cow I don't even know what to do with all of it! I feel really blessed that I'm producing enough. The lactation consultant was shocked by how much milk my body was making. Evidently I've got enough to feed four babies. I am so thankful for this blessing (but curse it since I have to pump every three hours so that I don't become engorged).
My mom arrived Monday night and was a huge help in getting things going. Jay returned to work on Tuesday. I was so sick of being in the house that on Tuesday I begged my mom to go to lunch. I know it was early but the weather was beautiful and the twins slept through their first lunch out at Cowfish! It was so nice that we did it again on Wednesday at Cafe Monte. My mom left on Wednesday afternoon and I cried (in the pediatricians office waiting room) when she left. Thursday was my first day on my own with the babies and we had a great day! I love being their mommy. My mom and aunt returned late Thursday evening and Friday morning they helped out with our newborn pictures before heading out to Philly to move my Dad into his new apartment.
On Wednesday afternoon, we had our first visit to the pediatrician. The babies are doing well but not gaining the weight they'd like to see. They are now taking breast milk fortified with enfamil and she bumped us up to 2 ounces per feeding
A few things about the first week:
The twins are getting good at a schedule. We feed every three hours at 6, 3, 9, 12, and then start over again. They were taking an ounce each but at their feedings but have now moved onto two ounces
They are great sleepers and we generally have to wake them up for each feeding
I'm really lucky in that my weight has dropped off pretty quickly. I have 10lbs to lose as of their one week birthday. I haven't really noticed it in my face or arms but all of a sudden my legs are back and my feet look skinny again! I was overweight when I got pregnant so I still have a long way to go but this is encouraging.
Even though I've lost weight, no one prepared me for how my stomach would look after twins. So much skin...Its weird that even when I flex, my abs are non-existent. I'm eager to start exercising.
My c-section scar has healed wonderfully. I left the hospital only taking advil and am truly feeling great. I've heard horror stories but seriously my c-section (minus the uterus mishap) was so easy to recover from!
Pictures from the week:
Sunday, June 24th
in our going home gowns
holden
Emma Cate
The only picture we got on the way out
The nice lady in the waiting area took this one for us
Daddy leaving the hospital
Arriving at home
Emma Cate meeting Sophie
Boomer and Holden
Monday, June 25th
Off to the lactation consultant
Emma Cate waiting for the dr to look her over.
baby feet
Tuesday, June 26th
Getting ready to go out to lunch... keeping the germs out
love this picture
Holden
Emma Cate
Wednesday, June 27th
Off to the pediatrician's for our first visit.
Mommy and Daddy filling out paperwork
Emma Cate
Holden
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