Pretty Days, Veggie Muffins, and Valentine's Party

We returned from up north to gorgeous NC weather! Adjusting to being back at work on Tuesday was so tough after being off for almost a week due to the snow. I knew we had to get out and enjoy the beautiful day so my mom met me at yoforia for a treat! The babies LOVE some froyo!

They have recently started to enjoy carrying things. Emma Cate carries bags and purses all around the house. They like to help carry their school stuff, specifically their lunch boxes. 

Thankfully, the preschool Valentine's party was postponed and I had some time to work on their treats. I was totally that mom that didn't send candy. My kids don't eat a lot of candy and I love being able to feed them more wholesome treats while they don't know any better. I know that in a few years I will not be able to send my kids Valentines with veggie muffins (thanks for the recipe Seantel!) :)

my super hubby has been very helpful recently. I've had some late days at school (grading is KILLING me and I refuse to bring it home) and long, tiring evenings. I don't know how many other guys would help cut out pinterest Valentine's Day tags for his kids treats. It was really cute how proud he was of me for putting these Valentine's together. He facetimed his mom to show her what the kids were bringing to school. Sometimes he gets totally annoyed with me and all my projects and pursuit of cuteness/healthiness/organization but I think he appreciates having a wife that goes the extra mile to make everything special for our kids. 

Holden handed out "you're a real cutie" along with cutie oranges.

Emma Cate handed out "Be Mine Stud Muffins"! 

The Valentine's Party was too cute! All the mamas (and Jay) came and the kids all passed out Valentines to each other. I was really amazed when we told the babies to give a valentine to a specific classmate, they were able to find that person and give it to them. These friendships are so sweet!

passing out valentines

My mom had purchased a tea set and toaster for the twins for Christmas and couldn't find it anywhere. She just found it this week and the twins have had so much fun having tea parties with mommy! 

can you tell we are working on potty training? Zsa Zsa (our bitty baby) is strapped to the potty all the time. She even grocery shops like that.

Baby Shep Update

We had an ultrasound for baby Shep yesterday afternoon. I ended up taking the day off work to get some things done around the house prior to the ultrasound. I met Jay at the doctor and we were sooo excited to see our little guy! With the twins, we had ultrasounds at least once a month (add in kidney stones and preterm labor and we had them almost every two weeks). With Shep, we've only seen him a few times as a tiny tiny thing at REACH and then once when we had our first appointment with the OB and once for the anatomy scan at 19 weeks. The scan yesterday was for growth and to check on Shep's kidney. Unfortunately, baby Shep was looking in towards me and the only picture we got was an "I'm STILL a BOY" shot. I was a little sad we didn't get to see this sweet baby's face. The ultrasound was long and complicated and a little scary. We quickly realized we were there for medical issues and not to see our cute baby suck his thumb or wave to us.

I'll start with growth. Shep is measuring at least a week ahead. His belly is measuring two weeks ahead and the ultrasound tech asked me if I had gestational diabetes! The doctor didn't seem as concerned but he is also super chill (we'll get into that later). Shep is also totally breech with VERY little chance of turning. My plan for VBAC is 99% out the window. The plan is to schedule a c-section but we'll talk about that once I get to 36 weeks. Shep is currently weighing in at 5lbs which is crazy to me that he could possibly weigh more than Emma Cate when she was born (the weight can be off by 15% either way).

As far as Shep's kidneys go, the left kidney is looking good. The right is unfortunately still swollen with fluid and doesn't appear to be functioning. The ultrasound tech took lots of photos of the renal artery and it doesn't appear that blood is flowing to the kidney. Both the Dr. and ultrasound tech said it could just be a positioning thing because he was laying on that side. I'm saying a prayer that that is true but not holding my breath.

I consider myself to be a very strong person. I can't change the hand I've been given, I can only accept fate and move forward. I like to know everything I can about any issues that arise (infertility, my mom's cancer, preeclampsia, etc.). I don't like surprises. I want to be told flat out what is going on and not hold onto false hope. I was really disappointed in my doctor yesterday. When he talked about Shep being breech, I asked if there was a chance he could still turn. He was like yes, it could very well happen but you may want to start preparing for a c-section. I'd rather him tell me "seriously, there is a tiny chance but pretty much you're going to have a c-section". He is very sugar-coaty (like my new word?). He was also the doctor that my mom saw when she first found a lump in her breast. He told her it was probably nothing but was going to send her for an ultrasound to be sure... probably nothing turned out to be stage 2 cancer. We spoke with him about the kidneys and after hearing a pretty blunt (but appreciated) take on it from the ultrasound tech, we were amazed at how he conveyed his opinion to us. After he left the room, Jay said "seems like Shep will be totally fine and there is really nothing wrong with his kidney". It made me so mad that the message the doctor conveyed made Jay feel like that. In actuality, he is sending us to the maternal fetal specialist asap to have them take a look and having a pediatric urologist in the delivery room. I could be wrong but you don't normally do those things when you think a problem is no big deal... Ugh I am just so frustrated with the lack of info. I know doctors don't want their patients to worry but as a mom I worry way more with less information than I do with more. Tell me worst case scenario. I appreciate that. At least then I can prepare for the worst and pray for the best.

Enough gripe, now onto how we are doing. In all honesty, I'm not that concerned about Shep's kidney/quality of life. Like I stated before what will happen will happen and we will handle it like we would handle anything. I love this baby sooo much and have 100% faith in God that he will do what is best for our family. I trust that God wouldn't give us anything we weren't capable of handling. I also trust that Shep will be a happy and healthy little big boy but if he isn't, we will love him just as much :) Please keep this sweet baby boy in your prayers and also please pray that at the next appointment, we will get some much needed answers.

SUYL- Infertility

It has been a while since I've linked up to talk about this topic. Infertility was such a huge part of our lives and even after 2 (almost 3) kids I still think about it all of the time. We have been through clomid, IUI's, Failed IVF fresh transfers, and IVF frozen transfers (all of our posts are tagged with keywords). We now have a set of 20 month old twins and a baby boy on the way due in April. I consider us so fortunate that we have this family. It wasn't easy getting to where we are today. I am still baffled when people tell me how *lucky* I am to have had boy/girl twins and how I need a hobby because we got pregnant with our third so close to the twins (he was a very planned frozen transfer btw!).  If people only knew what went into bringing these children into our lives. I also know what it is like to have a IVF transfer fail. And I still feel a bit of sting when I think about our sweet baby boy that was transferred with another frozen embryo that didn't make it. My mind is always thinking about that last little frozen embryo we have sitting at the fertility clinic just waiting for us. I still feel a pang of envy for moms that have "surprise" pregnancies. That get to announce their pregnancy to their husband in a cute way instead of waiting on pins and needles for a beta test result number.

Infertility was devastating. I can still feel that pain of seeing a negative pregnancy test and thinking that I would never ever have a child. Infertility was pretty much the whole reason I got into this blogging world. I googled everything and found so much comfort in reading other's stories. I feel like God allowed us to suffer and grow through infertility in order to help others. Since going through the whole process myself, I've had several friends that have had to deal with this diagnosis. I don't want this to come out wrong because I would NEVER wish infertility on anyone but I am so thankful that I can help those who are navigating the tricky waters of infertility treatments. I am soooo happy for these mamas that have all come out on the other side. I am happy to be a sounding board, a person to text to talk about best ways to give a shot, to go through those the scary first beta test, and to pray that those numbers keep rising. Please email me (jayandanni at gmail dot com)  if you have any questions about our journey or what its like to go through this process. I am so happy to help anyone that needs it. I made a very conscious decision to share this part of our life on my blog in hopes that someone who reads it would find it helpful.

5 on Friday- Hospital Must Haves for Mama

I'm linking up again for 5 on Friday!

Considering that baby is due in 8 weeks I'm starting to think about my list of hospital must haves! Here are the things that I'll be bringing with me to deliver this sweet baby boy! These are just things for mama. I'll have to come up with another list of the items I brought for baby. These are in no particular order and are just fun things to have... not the necessities by ANY means!

1. Hospital Bags

I decided that I wanted us all to have matching hospital bags when the twins were born. I ordered everyone their own Land's End canvas tote. I ordered the babies in the medium size and mine and Jay's in large. I just ordered Shep's and was so excited when it came in. These have been great to take on overnights, use as school bags, and just to tote things around! Right now they are offering 25% off!

2. Matching hospital gown/baby outfit

I ordered a delivery gown, nursing gown, and matching babies layette gowns from gownies.com. The delivery gown was great for the day after my c-section. It snaps down for nursing and made it easy for the doctor to check up on my c-section scar. It felt so much better than being in the hospital gowns and gave more coverage :) The nursing gown was super comfy and soft and I LOVED the cute matching baby gowns!

3. My own pillow and pillow case

I LOVED having my own pillow at the hospital. I ordered new cases for Jay and I to use while there. Most hospital pillows are white so people warned me against using my own cases off of my bed because they might get put in the hospital laundry on accident during bedding changes. We ordered cute gingham cases in pink for me and blue for him. I'm planning to do the same for Shep. I found these cute striped oxford shirting ones from Lands End. I can't decide if I'll like the feel of the material so I may order a few different ones and see what I like. The one's we ordered for the twins were from PBK.

4. Treats

I had some cookies made to welcome the twins arrival. We had lots of visitors stop by and all the nurses who cared for us grabbed a few cookies. The nurses truly make your hospital experience and giving them a sweet snack doesn't hurt ;) My nurses were so sweet and thankful and I'm planning on doing cookies again to welcome Shep. We also had little cups made and brought some champs to toast the new babies!

5. A 50mm f/1.4 fixed lens for your DSLR camera. 

We took sooooo many pictures during our time in the hospital and I LOVED them. I got this lens shortly before the babies were here and it was perfect for capturing their first moments. It's super easy to use and very close up. It blurs the background perfectly and easily so anyone can use it. Here's the one I got. 

5. Just a few of the more necessity items:

1. comfortable granny panties that you have no problem throwing away. trust me. don't cheap out or try to get cute looking ones... comfort is key.

2. Nursing tanks. I loved the ones from target. Pack a bunch because they will get soaked once your milk comes in. sorry for TMI.

3. Nursing pads. They had these at the hospital but I really liked the reusable ones. So much softer than the disposable kind.

4. Camera charger, computer, ipad, cords to connect camera to computer. Every few hours I would download the pictures from my camera to my computer and sync it with my picasa web albums. I did not want ANYTHING happening to those pictures!

5. Slippers and comfy socks. Due to my c-section, I did a lot of walking around the hospital to try and help my muscles feel better. Slippers were key! Find a good pair with a grippy bottom. The hospital provides socks but I wasn't a fan. I was all about being comfortable in my own stuff.

6. Make up, hair dryer, bath products from home. Call me high maintenance but I don't even use the shampoo in nice hotels. I prefer my purology to everything else. I love the smell and it made me feel so good to get all cleaned up after giving birth. 

7. I kept my hands manicured regularly before giving birth but also brought some nail polish with me for touch ups in the hospital. I wanted pretty fingers in all the pictures that were taken of me holding the babies. I went with a very light pink (Essie Ballet Slipper).

8. Robes! I loved having robes to throw on over my nursing tanks. I found some great ones at JC Penny for cheap! They had this great waffle robe that I still use today. I just checked online but couldn't find it. 

9. I went with Olian PJs for the twins delivery. They are soft and awesome but the tops are WAY to revealing. They were great for nursing at home afterwards but I'm not planning on bringing them to the hospital with me this time. I'm on the hunt for some men's style button down classic jammies that provide way more coverage. I've found some cute ones at victoria secret and brooks brothers. 

10. Your blog or journal. I tried to blog everyday from the hospital while the babies were sleeping. Some of my posts are not coherent at all but I love rereading the emotions I felt that day. There are certain parts that I would have NEVER remembered had I not written them down. It was also a great place to share little stories that family told me about the birth from their perspective. 

Baby #3 Week 32

I know that I've said this in the past few posts but OMG this pregnancy is sooo much easier! At 32 weeks last time I was told to stop working and so incredibly swollen.

Baby Shep at 32 weeks

twins at 31.5 weeks. whoa mama

This week was difficult only because the tiredness has set in. I'm still waiting for the nesting to set in! This weekend was go go go with a trip up north to visit my Dad. I really need to bank some sleep this weekend. We also really need to work on the nursery. Our glider arrived yesterday and we are hopefully going to pick it up this week or next (it's in Asheboro). I'm excited to see it. We are looking forward to lots of work on the pallet wall this weekend and hopefully painting the crib and dresser if the weather holds out. I don't think Jay will let me do any of the painting (too many fumes) but I'm pretty excited to see this paint sprayer in action. My goal for Saturday night is to work on the embroidery machine and get a few things done for Shep and the twins. Shep's fabric just came in and I'm planning to pick it up tomorrow afternoon so that my mom can get started on his bedding!

Shep has been a moving machine. He feels sooo much more substantial and he definitely doesn't like when I lay on the couch with my feet curled up. I can feel him punch my hipbones and kick my ribs at the same time. The craziest is the pressure I feel when he presses against me. I feel like he is going to pop out of my stomach!

Shep's hospital bag arrived this week and I loved seeing his first monogram! I told Jay that I was going to order his Easter basket liner tomorrow and Jay asked why he had to have one this year. The plan is to deliver on the 17th or 18th of April and Easter is on the 20th. Jay finally understood that we're probably going to be celebrating Easter in the hospital this year and therefore each child needed a basket!

I am still in shock that we have 8 weeks left. The babies have been so sweet and fun this week. They give baby Shep lots of kisses and just this morning have started to say love you! The weather this week has been so nice and I think we are all so ready for spring and Shepherds arrival!

I am still sporting my sling but met with the ortho doctor on Tuesday and got the good news that I only have to wear the sling for a few more days. The bone I broke is the quickest to heal in the whole body. I definitely have a partial tear in my AC joint in my shoulder and that should heal with time and rest. It is still really difficult to get the babies in and out of the carseats and I'm super thankful for my mom helping me extra this week.

We have an ultrasound on Tuesday and I am soooo excited to get a peak at our little guy! I'll hopefully have some pictures to post next week!

Pregnancy Highlights:

Today's Date: Friday, February 20th 2014

How Far Along: 32 weeks

Pregnancy Countdown: 57 or less days

Size of babies: A squash. The baby is 15.2-16.7 inches long and weighs between 2.5- 3.8 pounds 

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I haven't been great at weighing myself because I don't really care anymore. I don't think my face/arms/legs are gaining like last time. I think I'm holding still at 20lbs.  

Maternity Clothes: Yes, I'm fighting the urge to buy some spring tops.

Gender: Boy- Arthur Shepherd Carroll

Movement: This boy LOVES when mama eats! Green smoothies make him wiggle like crazy (as does ice cream). 

Sleep: We've had late nights due to getting back in the swing of things after being out of town. We had terrible storms the other night that kept me up from 2am-4am on Tuesday night. I was OUT at 10pm last night and slept hard until 6 but still don't feel rested. I still don't have to get up to tinkle! Thank you bladder! I am sleeping on my side now and couldn't imagine being on my tummy anymore.

What I miss: sleeping on my tummy, walking, my old feet, my not so jiggly tummy

Cravings: I didn't do any meal planning this week so dinners have been ugh. I've been craving Rusty's baked potatoes and Annie's mac and cheese. 

Symptoms: braxton hicks and round ligament pain are back! I was playing with the kids last night and had some majorly painful contractions. The skin across my belly button is getting kind of tight. Kind of weird to explain. 

Best Moment this week: Having a little downtime yesterday while my kids napped to just sit and watch my belly move (that sounds really creepy doesn't it). It is fun to be able to focus on Shepherd for just a little bit during the day.

Just for fun... this is a pic of my foot at the same point in my pregnancy time. OMG piggy piggy!

how sad do these piggies look? its bad when even your toes have rolls

Your baby's the size of a squash!

Still growing, your baby weighs in at about 2.5 to 3.8 pounds and measures about 15.2 to 16.7 inches.

Home Again Home Again

We slept until 8:30am on Monday morning! My Dad heard the kids wake up and took them to his room to hangout with my mom and him. It felt so good to sleep that late with no interruptions. Everyone was pretty exhausted from our busy city day. 

We went to a little diner for breakfast. All the food was local and organic but still diner food. You know how some places do the local/organic thing and put your non-staples on the menu? This place had all the classics, just made with fresh ingredients. Yum!

Emma Cate loves to clean her mouth and hands by herself. Miss Independent will cry if you try to help her. 

This kid is so easy going. He polished off tons of his food plus everyone else's. He is definitely my eater!

Our trip through the airport went so much smoother this time around. I packed our carry-ons lightly but unfortunately our suitcases were way over weight. I tried to drop our bags curbside because I had already checked in online but didn't realize that we hadn't paid our check baggage fee. The porter outside was SUPER nice. He picked up my bag and told me it was way overweight but took pity on this poor mama and said he'd take care of it and not to worry. He got all our luggage checked in and baggage fees paid while I waited inside with the kids. I was sooo thankful for his help and that he didn't make me take things out of my suitcase!

The Philly airport has two play places inside. This was sooo helpful! The kids played for 30 minutes and then we headed over to Legal Seafoods for lunch/dinner. The big kids on this playground were driving me crazy! They were climbing on top of the play structures and jumping off and you know my sweet Holden wanted to be right there with them. File this in things I need to remember when my kids are big... help them to be good role models to the younger kids. It is so hard to tell my baby not to climb up the slide when they see everyone else do it! 

she probably went up and down the slide 50 times. 

photobomber

This sweet boy always lands in a straddle at the bottom of the slide.

We tried the ipad out and it did not help at all. Planes kept Holden's attention for maybe 2 minutes before he started tapping the screen with his toes. I ordered special toddler headphones but unfortunately, with the snow, they didn't arrive before we had to leave.

We arrived at the airport to find that my stroller had been broken while in flight. The frame was bent and although I still "works" it is so awful to push. The seat barely fits in and it veers to the left. It took me 20 minutes to file a claim with baggage and the lady there told me she couldn't see any damage. I about lost it on her. She eventually realized what I was talking about and filed my claim. Jay and I have been in contact everyday with the airline to get the problem handled. 

By the time I filled my claim, we picked the dogs up and dropped my mom off it was 9:30 and these babies were wiped. She stayed asleep after we transferred her from the car inside the house and stayed this way in her crib until it was her turn to get ready for bed!

New York City

Just a warning... there are TONS of pictures. Sorry for the multiple posts today but I'm trying to get everything up before I avoid posting about something. I find that if I don't post right away, I never get around to it (I still haven't posted our at home Christmas- Ah!).

We took all our mornings easy. We had a breakfast picnic in Pop Pops living room. My Dad's condo only has one bathroom so it took a little longer to get everyone showered and ready. By 9 we were all up and ready to drive to the train station to head in to NYC. The train takes about an hour and 15 minutes to get to Penn Station. 

We drove by these statues on the way to the train station. This tooth made me think of my friend Seantel. There were also statues of a mariachi band, two couples dancing, and Old Man Winter. It was the most random display of public art I have ever seen. 

waiting at the train station. My parents were soooo good with the kids. I had it super easy. Poor Jay had to lug the stroller around :0

SNOW! 

her favorite thing to say

choo choo... said on repeat for most of the train ride.

The guys' seat

the girls' seat. i'm telling you this little girl is such a ham.

my mom kept singing to the babies to keep them happy but after a while, she would sing a song and they would say no in the middle and she's switch to another song and they'd say no again. It was the funniest thing. She'd finally get to a song they liked and they'd let her sing it.

my mom bought Holden this plane at the gift shop at the airport (she ended up having to buy Emma Cate one too to stop the fighting!) It kept him occupied for hours throughout the course of this trip! I also want to note for my memory that my kids have pacis in a TON of these pics. They never have paci besides at bedtime at home. We're taking them away this weekend for good but wanted to let them have them throughout the trip to help keep them quiet as not to disturb the other passengers.

We arrived at Penn Station around 11:30 and took 20 minutes bundling the kids up. I borrowed one of these jj cole buntings and found another at a consignment sale. They worked sooo well for the city. Emma Cate kicks her shoes and socks off all the time and her feet still stayed nice and toasty inside. I'm looking forward to using these for outdoor runs and walks instead of tossing a ton of heavy blankets on the kids just for them to kick them off!

We made it to NYC!

The three hard workers!

They were both so content to be strolled around the city. I think they loved taking in all of the sights! 

driving the truck 

After lunch, our first stop was the NYFD Fire Zone. I had read some reviews and it seemed like this place would be a museum exhibit about fire safety but it was really just a tiny store with a fire truck to play in. Emma Cate was fast asleep but Holden had a great time.

sitting in the back of the truck with the gear

the truck had a tons of buttons and pull things. a toddler's paradise! 

This was seriously the cutest thing ever. I laughed and laughed. Holden LOVED dressing up in this coat! He was walking all around and omg it was just adorable. I took a video to remember his little shuffling feet.

our sleeping beauty

we headed to Rockefeller Center to the lego store. This lego store was awful! They didn't have any legos to play with, only things to buy. We left quickly as it was super crowded.

We made our way over the FAO Schwarz and oh my goodness did the kids have a blast. The grandparents each took one and I think they had more fun than the babies did. It is such a treat to see my parents enjoying their grandchildren.

Holden loved this collection of huge stuffed animals. He growled like a gorilla when the saw the one at the top of the escalator. 

Guess who found Boo! Gigi bought her a boo purse to take home.

Holden was off with Pop Pops when all of a sudden he popped out onto the isle with this crazy stuffed animal in a stroller. Pop Pops thought it was too funny.

Emma Cate had to get in on the stroller action with Boo.

Pop Pops and Holden checking out his future wheels... Now if only Pop Pop would really buy him that in 15 years :) Pop Pops snuck off and bought Holden a NYFD Firetruck that makes tons of noises. Holden has not put it down... We had to sneak it away from him on the plane home.

I found this cover at the consignment sale for $4. I was so glad I picked it up. The wind was crazy after the toy store and this kept the the kids nice and toasty. 

our plan was to head to central park for a snowy walk but the park had not been cleared at all. All the paths were completely iced over. After my little fall on Friday, we decided to skip this and head to Dylan's Candy Bar for hot chocolate instead! The park was beautiful covered in snow though!

Now it was this ones turn to nap! He slept all the way through the candy store!

Daddy and Emma Cate checking out the city

This girl was super happy with cheddar bunnies and water.

my attempt at a family selfie in the elevator.

We had a 2.5 mile walk back to the train and needed to stop to change diapers. We figured that Macy's would be a good place to stop. It was insane trying to find a changing area! We ended up missing our train and had to eat dinner at Penn Station. We had a lovely combo of pizza hut pizza, nathan's hot dogs, and auntie ann's pretzels. By the time we got on the train it was 7pm. Of course the kids didn't sleep a wink!

We had one tired little girl when we got home.