Catch up

I realized I had written a few posts as drafts last year and never published. They're all up now but the order may be confusing. 

We left reach pregnant with our 4th child in December of 2015. With a July due date, we were so excited to finally be done with infertility and ready to complete our family and move on to our next chapter.

On Friday February 5th, at 17 weeks pregnant, Jay and I went in for a routine ob appointment and learned that our baby no longer had a heartbeat. It was the worst day of my life. We checked into the hospital to start the traumatic process of giving birth to our sweet baby. Thankfully before things got too far, the doctor on call suggested that we might meet with a local ob that does late term DNCs. We checked out of the hospital and spent the weekend at home trying to process the day's events. The following Tuesday, we met with the new Ob and immediately felt comforted. She scheduled us for surgery that evening. 

Because this was going to be our last baby, we had decided that we were not going to learn the sex. I think this was the hardest part of all because I didn't have that same connection at 17 weeks that I had with my other children. We later learned through genetic testing that our baby was a sweet little girl.

 I knew for me and my recovery that the best way for me to move forward was to get pregnant again. We met with our RE and discussed plans for another round of IVF since we had used our final embryo. 6 weeks later we started our 2nd round of IVF. By day six we had 6 good looking embryos still in the game and were absolutely shocked to find out that of those embryos only 2 tested genetically normal. Our doctor suggested we do another round of IVF to better our chances. Granted, we were only going to transfer one embryo but if the two normal embryos did not take, I would be older and another round of IVF may not lead to promising results. We did our 3rd round of IVF and were able to send 4 embryos to the lab for genetic testing. 3 of the 4 embryos tested normal and we learned that the highest quality embryo of the bunch was female. We were beyond excited!

I'll let it be known that Emma Cate has been praying for a sister. She tells us dusky that God knows she has too many brothers and is going to bring her a sister.  I'm happy for the chance to make this a reality for her!

So here we are, almost 6 months later and 1 day (actually 2 weeks and 6 days) pregnant with a little girl. We won't know for 2 weeks if this transfer really worked but we're praying hard and trusting in God that embryo 18 snuggles in. After the heartache we've experienced, I'm just so thankful for each day and attempt we get at creating a new life 💗.

Transfer Day

Today was transfer day! Our 5th time. Jay joked that we should be minority owners in our clinic by now. We had a pretty calm morning (as calm as it gets with 3 4& under). My sweet mom came by to watch our kids and Jay and I had a little morning breakfast date before heading over to the clinical. Everything was pretty routine and easy. We were so relieved that embryo #18 survived the thaw and looked great! 

We got all situated in the operating room and watched our little girl in her Petri dish through the TV. She was covered by air bubbles and took the embryologist a few attempts to remove them so we could get a better look. Within minutes Jay and I watched the embryo get sucked up into the catheter and make its way into the OR. On another monitors we were able to watch my uterus via ultrasound. You could see the catheter inside and all of a sudden that tiny little embryo shot out of the catheter like a firecracker. If transfer is any indication of personality, we're in for it :) Both Jay and I remarked that we'd never had an embryo transfer so quickly and with such spunk! 

I laid in recovery for 30 minutes and then we were off. I spent the remainder of the day in bed. I got intermittent hugs and cuddles from my babies making sure to take it easy and kept them from jumping on me. My mom kept them for the day and made sure they were busy and entertained! Our sweet friend brought an amazing dinner and helped keep my day stress free! 

I've been feeling crampy on and off and I'm praying that our little firecracker is settling in nicely! I had a freak out around 2am when I realized I had fallen asleep without my PIO shot. Jay quickly took care of that and easily fell back asleep. I have a bit of insomnia so I decided to write a bit to remember this!

REACh

Today marked the end of one of the biggest chapters of our lives. Infertility. Today we officially graduated from Reach. We started with Dr. Wing at Reach in 2010 and walked out 5 years later with 3 healthy babies and a 4th on the way. I cried hugging my sweet nurses goodbye. I cried riding the elevator for the last time. I cried holding up our "made in charlotte" aka were pregnant and headed to a regular ob onesie for a photo outside of the building. This is our last baby and I'm trying to savor every last minute of it. I want to feel all the feels and remember as best I can. Today I felt everything. Such thankfulness for this medical facility that brought us 4 miracle pregnancies that we would have never had without them. I felt sad to leave this place that has had such an integral role in our lives the past 5 years. The first people to confirm and cheer for successful pregnancies. My sweet nurse, Mary who when I went in for an ultrasound for a possible ectopic pregnancy stood behind the dr doing the ultrasound and gave me a huge thumbs up before he even reported his findings because she knew I needed that relief. Thank you to Reach for giving us the life we have always dreamed of. 

And Baby makes 6?!

Well well we meet again old blog! Must be time to have another baby because that seems to be the only time I come back to you.  So let's begin the story of the quest for baby #4. 

This past Labor Day weekend we took the kids on a vacation without grandparents. We hiked, fished, and played. We had the best time. Jay and I almost laughed about how easy the trip was. The twins are 3 and getting so much better at listening and are just so fun! They are into everything around them. So curious and honest and just a blast to hang out with. Shep is one funny little guy too. He's basically a little boy and no longer a baby. He's got a wicked sense of humor and is sooo independent. While discussing how easy life is becoming (I mean seriously- Shep will be out of diapers by summer...hopefully) we decided that we had better start discussing having a 4th.we didn't want to get too far from the baby stage to re-enter. We also wanted the kids to be close in age and stage so that we could all sort of move through life at the same stage together. God willing of course. 

So- we returned home and I called my BFF nurse at Reach to let her know we were ready to come back. She told me that my cycle lined up perfect and asked if we wanted to start the next day. Whoa! We didn't think it would move this fast! But we prayer about it and went with it. Jay and I went to sign all the paperwork and brought Shep with us. We went later in the morning to try and avoid the mad rush of woman getting their daily bloodwork in hopes of getting pregnant. I still remember that pain all too well and didn't want my child cause any undo stress. It was great however for our nurses and doctors to see the little miracle they helped create! He took to Mary so well and she carried him around the nurses office while Jay and I completed the paperwork. 

I started birth control pills the next day and we were on our way! Things have been so so different this time around. Obviously, we are ecstatic to have the chance to have a 4th but we also have a crazy busy life with our three! When it was time for the Lupron shots to begin I was able to administer them myself without issue. I barely noticed the effects of the estrogen pills. The night I was supposed to start my progesterone injections, I realized I totally forgot to order that medication and called my dr office freaking out. The on call nurse was a little in disbelief that I had forgotten to order my meds but told me we could delay the transfer and it would be ok. The medicine has to be compounded and only certain pharmacies do that. I order from a place in Atlanta and I came this close to driving down there on a Sunday night at 5pm to go pick it up in person. Luckily, the pharmacies I called was so so so amazingly nice and called pharmacies around Charlotte looking for a sample for me to use so that we could transfer on our scheduled date. Our scheduled date was Thursday 10/29, 2 days before Halloween. I was so worried that if they did the transfer the following day, I'd still be on modified bed rest and wouldn't be able to trick or treat. My

Mom and I joked that it was like Hanukkah because our pharmacist located a small sample of the progesterone oil that would last me for 10 days :) He found it at our local 24 he Walgreens (who never carries it but just so happened to have a tiny amount). I mean I could totally feel someone looking out for us :)

So this past Thursday we transferred our last little embryo. Jay and I checked into a hotel uptown for a little rest and relaxation for 2 nights post transfer and literally I laid in bed all day until dinner. We are 3dp5dt so not quite time to test yet but I did smell dog poop in our bedroom while sitting on the living room sofa so my sniffer may be having some pregnancy symptoms. We'll know for sure on November 9th! Right now we're just trusting in God and know that he knows the plans for us. We're saying our prayers and placing our trust in Him. Hopefully we'll have some great news soon and a little baby Carroll this summer! 😊

Holdie Boldie

Oh Holdie,
I thought I'd write a little post about you to remember all the fun things that make you, you! Hopefully, I'll keep adding to this list with more of your quirks :) You are one funny, sweet, loving, not-always good listening, fun guy.

you fall asleep in the car within minutes of getting in. I have to scream at you and roll the windows down to keep you awake on the way home from preschool so that you don't ruin your nap

you get up SOOO early. you either hang out in the family room with daddy while he gets ready for work or come cuddle up to me and watch the ipad while I sleep

you love to make Sas (you only call her sas or sassy, I've never heard you call her Emma Cate). You climb in her strollers all the time.

you love your rain boots and jumping in puddles!

you love doing any activities that the big guys are doing

One morning after Shep's baptism, I came out from getting ready and found you and Sas eating his cake. I took this picture of you saying "Hey Mommy! We eatin Sheppie cake!" At least y'all had forks!

*We call you Holds, Holdie Goldie, Holdie Boldie, and Holdie. Hardly ever Holden. We tell you that you're name is Caviness and you say "No it not, I Holdie".
*You are a mixture of rough and tumble and sweet at pie. You give some fierce hugs that normally end up with Emma Cate screaming and crying on the floor and you squeezing the daylights out of her.
*You are quick to give mommy kisses and always ask me to give them to you. Your little voice, mommy, you give me kiss?
*You are still my random hugger. Today, you were in the middle of soccer practice and ran up to me, gave me a hug, and ran back on the field.
*You like watching the big boys and want to be just like them
*You are so into the gym at the Y. You want to go in an play "basket-a-ball" so badly. We told you that you could play when you wear unders and everyday we walk by the courts and you scream, "I play when I wear unders!"
*You get frustrated easily working on new skills but are SO proud of yourself when you master them. You've recently mastered cutting and taking your shoes off.
*You love your baby Sheppie
*You are very into trucks, diggers, and all things boy... with the exception of barbie. You love to watch barbie on nextflix.
*You love watching youtube on the ipad. You like to watch these "shows" were adults play with lightening mcqueen cars and make up storylines and the cars act them out. They are so strange but you love them ;)
*You love being outside and ask to go out everyday. I can't wait until the weather gets better
*You are a dancing fool and will randomly climb on the coffee table and say "Shake yo booty!". Your booty shake is pretty hilarious
*You like to help out by watching me cook (and you want to learn to cut with the knife so badly), feeding the dogs, putting your pjs in the dirty clothes, and loading the dishwasher. You are not into cleaning up your toys AT ALL.
*We just got you a set of golf clubs and you can't wait to go outside with Daddy to play.
*You love the wolfpack and like pointing out the big wolf on the home basketball court

Baby Shep 10 months

Oh this poor little blog is now just a random recap of baby shep's first year. TRYING to be better!

I took a 10 month photo! Woo hoo!

Sheppie-
I missed blogging for your 9th month so we're just skipping to 10 (even though we're halfway in already!)


What our life is like:

We have had a BUSY busy few weeks. While your Gigi was out of town her house flooded, mommy got the flu, your great Grandpa Arthur passed away, and we spent a week in Indiana in a snowstorm for his funeral. We are finally back home and getting back on track. You are SUCH a good baby and very well adjusted. I'm so thankful!

Like I said, we're working on getting back on track. You go down for the night around 7pm. You were waking for a bottle around 3-4am and we were giving you one but we've decided that it is TIME you slept through the night! We think you were waking because of all the teeth that are coming in! The past few nights have been great and you've been sleeping well.

You're normally up between 7:30 and 8. You take a bottle of formula (you decided you were totally done nursing while we were in Indiana and I wasn't getting very much with the pump) first thing with your breakfast. You love cheerios and applesauce. You HATE eggs now :(! You'll eat a waffle or pancake but it's not your favorite. You do LOVE some cinnamon rolls! You feed yourself and hang out at the table while I'm busy being a short order cook for your brother and sister.

You are so ready for a nap around 9:30 or 10 but we never seem to be home! You sleep in your carseat to and from preschool drop off. The other days we're at the Y or bible study so you end up playing with your friends and falling asleep in the car on the way home. You normally take another bottle around 11. We get home around 11:30 or 12 and all eat lunch together. You like strawberries, pb&j, you love chicken deli meat and will eat a whole banana. Yogurt is not your thing.

Recently, we've been playing until 1 and then you go down easy for a nap. Before that, you were sleeping too much in your carseat and wouldn't nap until 3:30 which is when the twins were getting up and then they would wake you. I feel like we're getting back to a little organization and scheduling in our home! You sleep until 4 and have another bottle when you wake up.

We eat dinner at 6 and you'll just eat whatever we're having. I'm trying to wean you from your pouches! You are still taking bottles and we've got to work on those sippy cups! You have your last bottle at 7 and then head to bed.

Milestones. You are standing on your own and it gets longer with each day. You can do it for 20-30 seconds and go up and down in a squat without hanging on to anything. You've started going from crawling to sitting and you're enjoying sitting more while you play. You also LOVE to play cars while crawling or laying on your tummy. You do it just like the big boys.

You are still sooo happy! You're having a tiny bit of separation anxiety when I drop you off at bible study or the Y but you stop crying within minutes. We spend a lot of time together and you don't like when I leave you (I don't like it much either ;) ). You are really only fussy when you're tired. You've been handling your teething pretty well. Sophie the giraffe is your BFF (the dogs think she's pretty great too :0). You make car sounds while you push the cars around the floor and you also growl like a monster. Your brother and sister are into growling and roaring lately and you've jumped right in. You think it's hilarious. You're still not super chatty but we've hear mama and dada pretty regularly. You love being tickled and have the best laugh. You are so ticklish under your arms and chin. You are a great little kisser and always lean in to give mommy and daddy kisses. You like to clap and give high 5s.

The twins are getting rougher and rougher with you but you don't seem to mind. Holden threw an airplane (he was making it fly) and gave you quite the cut on your forehead. Daddy didn't take you for stitches so blame him if you have a scar! :0 Holden has started to hug you and ends up tackling you to the floor but you don't mind at all! Emma Cate either ignores you or loves on you. She hates when you cry and the minute you start, she sings you are my sunshine to calm you down. They are obsessed with you talking and always try to get you to talk to them. They both like to tell you "no sheppie" when you're getting into something you shouldn't.

Shepherd:

Nicknames: Pherd (as in she-pherd... everyone makes fun of me when I call you that!), Pherder, Shep, Sheppie, Cutie with a booty

Weight: Not sure

Height: Not sure

Hair: dark blonde. It's grown in a little! Probably the most even of all your siblings

Eyes: very dark blue

Clothes: 9-18 months

Diapers: We are in bum genius 4.0 all the time. You are on the tiniest rise in the BGs and we leave three columns of snaps showing. Size 3 target overnight diapers... we have to put these on you during the day too because you are a super heavy wetter.

Eating: 6oz bottles 4-5x day.

Likes: Smiling (you are such a happy baby!), crawling, standing up, climbing in the book baskets, cruising around the coffee table, getting into everything, pulling mommy's hair, sophie toy, climbing on the fireplace, sleeping on your back with your hands under your head, playing with your brother, following his siblings around the house (we leave you in a room and you power crawl after us, pulling the dog's fur, eating, playing with the car tower (we are sooo impressed... you crawl over to it with a car in your hand, stand up, put the car down the ramp and then repeat the process), it is amazing what you know how to do! You love getting into the dogs dishes and banging them together and carrying them around the house.

Dislikes: eggs and yogurt

Development: You're way ahead with your gross motor.You can crawl with the best of them, sit pretty well (we have to put you in sitting position), can go from sitting to crawling, you can stand up from all fours, squat without holding onto anything and fall pretty gracefully from a standing position.

Words: Da Da, mama, car sounds, roar


Teeth: three on the bottom and two on the top, two more are coming in on the top

Extra:
Shep,

Some funny things: This month you crawled out of your exersaucer and surprised your Daddy and me when we found you crying on the floor in front of it. You also tried to reach for a toy in the toy basket and fell in. I looked over when I heard muffled cries and saw your feet kicking in the air. Don't worry, I rescued you instead of taking a picture :) You are getting to be such a fun age. I LOVE the 12-24 month time! You are still so happy go lucky. You roll with the punches and fiercely independent. You like to be near me but not held. It is sooo rare that I get to hold you but I cherish the times you'll let me. You have the best smile and kisses. You're getting to be such a big boy and I'm so excited for your toddler stage!

These were from your 9 month appointment

you drive your brother crazy because you love to play Godzilla with his train tracks :) And here you are sitting on your knees. You did this for about a month until you recently started sitting on your bottom

we had a warm day and you got to experience the walker! You had so much fun. I didn't have any shoes for you yet so you wore Emma Cate's old keens :) You were too cute in pink... Don't worry, you've got your own shoes now!

this is us leaving the y. we are quite the show. I don't know what I'm going to do when you outgrow your infant car seat! 

We stayed in a hotel for a week in Indiana and it was FREEZING (like -20). I bought you some onesies (crazy that I never put you in them and your brother and sister wore them all the time) to keep you warm and thought you were just adorable sitting on the white bed in your onesie. I got some cute pics!

Baby Shep 8 Months (late!)

So I'm majorly behind on your 8th month but I still wanted to document it! I miss spending time at the computer where I'm not working on school work. I would really like to blog more because I love looking back on our life.


What our life is like:

We celebrated your first Christmas and your Baptism. This past month has flown by but we've been intentional in spending quality time together as a family. We have had so much fun! 

Your schedule was CRAZY over the holidays because we were go go go! You have a few nights were you were up until 10pm. You had a few sleepovers at Gigi's house too and she loved to cuddle with you until you fell asleep on her. Today is our "back to reality" day so back on a schedule you go! 

You have been waking up at 7:30 and you'll nurse a bit and then follow up with a bottle of pumped milk. You have breakfast, usually a pouch (sorry bud not making baby food anymore) with some cheerios and some eggs. You've gotten really great at this solid foods thing. You hold your own pouches and are content to feed yourself while everyone eats. Around 9:30 or 10 you're ready for a nap. Normally it's just an hour and a half but a few times we've had to wake you at 12:30!

Around 11 you have your first formula bottle of the day. We're usually out and about by this time and you're a trooper to eat on the go! At 12:30 you eat another pouch and some bits and pieces of whatever we're having for lunch. Today you had a little pirate's booty and LOVED it. You are an eating machine.

At 1, the twins go down and we have some playtime together. We try to nurse at 2 but you're really not interested so you get a bottle of frozen milk. At 2 you take a nap. You were napping in the dining room but we just moved your pack in play to the office in the basement and you have LOVED the quiet! You've been sleeping until 5 and seem so much happier!

At 5 you have another formula bottle and we all eat dinner together at 6. You quickly put down another pouch and then have whatever we're having. We do baths and bed and you're normally down at 7:30 and sleeping through the night like a champ. We had a few issues earlier in the month with you waking every three hours but then your bottom teeth popped through and we figured out why you were so fussy!

You're pretty much in the same place with milestones as you were last month. You are so into cruising around and will make it all around the room. You still don't like to sit up. You will play while sitting on your knees though. You are always up and down and your knees seem to be a good mid-point for resting and playing. You love pushing toys and cars around. You want to be around Holden all the time and he is great at sharing his cars/trucks/trains/monster trucks with you.

With the exception of the few days we didn't realize you were teething, you are the HAPPIEST and smiliest little guy. Seriously you are an amazing baby. I think you only cry when you want out of your crib and when you fall. You've gotten some chunky little thighs and we love to tickle them. You have a great chuckle! You said your first words this month! Of course it was Da Da but your dad's pretty great so we were happy :) You like to smack our hands to clap vs. clapping your own hands together. You are really into touching faces and mouths especially. You are always getting good at giving wide open mouthed kisses. Good thing we like sharing germs in this house!

You and Holdie are still best buds. He likes to make you laugh and "talk". He talks baby talk to you and you always respond. The two of you are always playing near each other and you're very content to climb all over him. Sassy tolerates you as long as you don't touch her ;) She is always happy to bring you your bottle, clean up when you're done or put your paci in when you are crying. She is also quick to tell you no when you're doing something you shouldn't. You've got another mama in the making!

Shepherd:

Nicknames: Pherd (as in she-pherd... everyone makes fun of me when I call you that!), Pherder, Shep, Sheppie,

Weight: You had a dr. visit because of a cold you were around 17lbs (Daddy took you so I don't know the exacts)

Height: ?

Hair: dark blonde. It's grown in a little! Probably the most even of all your siblings

Eyes: very dark blue

Clothes: all 6 months and you've grown out of a lot of those! Mostly 9-12 months now

Diapers: We are in bum genius 4.0 all the time. You are on the tiniest rise in the BGs and we leave three columns of snaps showing. We switched to pampers at night because you were soaking through everything. You just moved up to a size 3 in pampers

Eating: 6oz bottles 3x a day and nursing twice

Likes: Smiling (you are such a happy baby!), crawling, standing up, climbing in the book baskets, cruising around the coffee table, getting into everything, pulling mommy's hair, sophie toy, climbing on the fireplace, exersaucer, sleeping on your belly with your tush in the air, playing with your brother, following his siblings around the house (we leave you in a room and you power crawl after us, pulling the dog's fur,

Dislikes: nothing really!

Development: You're way ahead with your gross motor.You can crawl with the best of them, sit pretty well (we have to put you in sitting position), can go from sitting to crawling, you are pulling up and cruising all over the place, you can reach down to pick up toys.

Words: Da Da!


Teeth: two on the bottom and one on the top! Your other top tooth is making its way in

Extra:
Shep,

I just love being your mama. I am so thankful for all the time we get to spend together and so thankful for your fun and laughter. I'd love to write more but you just woke up from your nap!

Christmas Card 2014

I'm linking up with the lovely Faith of Walk With Me By Faith for her annual Christmas Card Carousel. I love linking up each year and looking through everyone's cards!

*spoiler alert* sooo these haven't even gone out yet! I got them back from shutterfly the day before we left for new york and haven't had a chance to address them. I LOVE to hand address envelopes but don't know if I'll have the time this year :( Hoping the twins will nap today so I can work on it!

I am so happy with the pictures our fabulous photographer (Volree Wade Photography) captured. A few weeks ago she sent me a text with this hilarious photo of sassy picking her nose, shep crying, and holdie sticking his tongue out. I knew immediately that this would be the perfect Christmas card photo.

This season of our lives is crazy but fun. Things are never peaceful and always chaotic but I love this crazy and wouldn't trade it for the world. I felt that this photo totally captured our life this year! It's messy, whiny, full of tears, but also full of smiles, laughter, and big hugs and it's beautiful!

Have a Very Merry Christmas and a fabulous New Year!

 The picture of the three kids is the front of the card. The three pictures on the side are printed on the inside of the card.

 This is the inside right of the card

This is the inside left of the card. I had to put a picture of Sheppie since we didn't send out birth announcements... whoops

My family has always done a Christmas newsletter as part of our Christmas Card each year. I've kept that tradition with a little write up of our family. I know that so many keep up with us on facebook and instagram but a lot of our older relatives appreciate hearing about our little ones from our card :) 

Oh Christmas Tree

Like I said in my Thanksgiving post, this year has been really different as far as holidays. In the years past, we've driven to the mountains on Black Friday or the Saturday after Thanksgiving to get our tree. We normally go as a family. We found this AWESOME tree farm but it's around 2.5 hours away, just outside of Asheville. Because my parents were in London this year, we postponed getting our tree until this weekend. Unfortunately, my Dad is in New Jersey this week (he lives and works up there and flies home to Charlotte on the weekends) and my sister is obviously still in London. The weather was gross on Saturday so we switched it up and went today and Jay's mom wasn't able to make the trip either.

We headed up after church to a new tree farm. It was a lot closer and had a pretty good looking website... Well. It just wasn't the same as our beloved Boyd's. It was FREEZING and the poor kiddos were shaking like leaves. My mom found her tree right away and soon after Allie & Brett found theirs. Jay and I finally agreed on one, snapped a comical family photo and they guys there cut it down. At Boyd's you scream, "I found the perfect tree" and a lumberjack (is that what you call them?) comes dashing over and happily takes a million pictures of your family in front of the tree with a smile on his face and then cuts it down and hauls it off. You go pay for your tree and sit on santa's lap and drink hot cocoa while they tie your tree to the top of your car and off you go! This place was sort of like a tree lot with the trees still attached to the ground :P. 

Regardless, I'm still thankful for the fun family memories of going to get our tree! The kids liked watching the trees fall and seeing the tractor haul them off.

We got home and set up our tree. It is the ugliest thing ever! Seriously there are like some major holes. And the thing is HUGE like wayyyy bigger than our space. We had to remove part of our sectional to get it to fit in our family room. I've tried trimming it and it just looks awful. It also isn't very steady on its base. We put the baby gate around it and hopefully the kids won't tip it over!

I'm excited to decorate this week! 

Thanksgiving

This was the first Thanksgiving I havent celebrated with my immediate family! In the past we've celebrated on a different day if we had to but this year we just didn't celebrate it at all. 

My mom and dad decided to go to London to spend the holiday with my youngest sister who moved there in September. We were soooo excited for them! My mom took tons of pics and the three of them had the BEST time! Of course we missed them but we're thankful they could spend thanksgiving with my sister! My middle and newly married (geeez I need to blog about her amazing wedding!) spent the weekend with her inlaws and we snapped, texted, and  FaceTimed all weekend. Love technology!

We started out with our an us turkey trot. We've been doing this since 2008 only missing 2011 because I was only 5 weeks pregnant with the twins! We've downgraded to the 5k because pushing a stroller and running 5 miles is hard work! Jay and I had a blast dodging the walkers and trying to compete with each other! 

We came home in time for the Macy's parade and the kids sat in front of the tv and watched all the cool floats while I cooked a bunch of sides to bring to Thanksgiving dinner. Since my mom wasn't cooking I had to bring along my favorite sausage stuffing, green bean casserole and sausage dip!

It took at least 2 hours to pack to head to Asheboro for 2 nights. With me in nursing school, Jay and I have been splitting household duties and things are definite not as organized as if just one person was doing it. We each have our own methods :) and picking out 3 days of coordinating outfits plus back ups was quite the task! I ended up buying lots of white collared shirts for under longalls when we returned home because those always seem to be in the stain stick/to be soaked pile!

We hit the road around 2 and had a lovely time playing at Jays moms house until it was time to head to Jays grandmothers house for dinner! We are until we were stuffed and the kids played and played. We got to meet jays cousin's new precious baby girl and got a pic of grandma and all her great grandbabies! We had a great time celebrating with jays side of the family!

Friday was a little tough for me because I missed our family's Black Friday shopping tradition. There weren't a ton of doorbusters to be had in Asheboro. Can't wait until Emma Cate is ready to hit the stores with her mom, aunts, and Gigi! We ended up hitting up the local wine bar with Jays cousin and his wife. Fun to get away for a bit!

I hit the road after dinner to meet up with my college besties! Everyone was in tow and this was the first time in years that almost all of us were together! We went out for drinks and I didn't get home

Until 2... Super late for this old lady!

Saturday morning I attended an engagement brunch for one of my she besties, Nikki. The brunch features lox and bagels and was right up my half- Jewish alley! Jay and the kids came back Saturday afternoon and we did a little decorating! We always get a tree on thanksgiving weekend but with my parents and siblings out of town, we held off this year. We did pull out our fake tree (our formal tree) and set it up in the living room. The kids are obssessed with the tree and I can't wait to start decorating!

We did loads of laundry, decorated more on Sunday, and made a crazy trip to donate blood (so that I could exempt my anatomy final- more about that another time)! Such a great weekend! I hated to see Monday roll around but am getting sooooo excited for Christmas this year!

I'm blogging on my phone and just deleted all my pics to get more space so follow on insta if you want to see all these fun adventures! akscarroll

I can't even think of a good one!

So recently I was as contacted about my blog being featured on a company's social media outlet and I thought "oh that would be fun!" Then I thought: well, I never blog anymore so maybe that would be dumb or maybe I could start blogging again because I MISS it and this would be the little bit of motivation that I need!

I hate that I even need motivation because this something I truly enjoy doing for me. I love looking back on posts about my family and reading about our adventures! I'm hoping it's something my kids will treasure when they are old enough to understand. I've thought a lot about filtering- especially with some of the emotional IVF posts- but then I thought no, that's really a part of my whole story. And even though I can now very casually say my babies were all IVF babies when the inevitable "do twins run in. Your family question" comes up, I never want to forget that raw, emotional struggle it took to get to that point.

This Christmas season, I am extra extra thankful for IVF. I get to do elf on a shelf! I got to participate in a family advent ornament exchange with my Sunday school, I get to play nativity and read about Baby Jesus with my family. I get to visit Santa multiple times a week and discuss the naughty list with the twins. I have gotten to shop for adorable Christmas outfits. I get to plan a Christmas time baptism. I am so thankful each day for my babies. Even though this is a hard and extremely busy season of our life, I try to never take my children for granted. I always have a thankful heart for the true miracles God has blessed us with.

Whew! I don't know how this post made it all the way to sappy and reflectional (is that a word?) but like I said before, this is my space and I'm thankful for this little outlet to write about our family, thoughts, and adventures! Here's to posting more!

Shep 7 Months

Baby Shep 7 Months

So I'm majorly behind on your 7th month but I still wanted to document it! I miss spending time at the computer where I'm not working on school work. I would really like to blog more because I love looking back on our life.

What our life is like:
I am wishing things would slow down. We are always on the go and always busy busy. You've been on a weird nap schedule and we've actually ended up having afternoons together when the twins are asleep. We play and laugh! You are just the happiest happiest baby! Always smiling! As far a milk goes, I had a rough month due to a hospital stay and surgery because of a kidney stone. I had to pump and dump for a week. I was already not pumping enough and now our frozen supply is almost gone. I wanted to get you through to a year just on breastmilk but it looks like we'll be supplementing with formula. I know its not a big deal in the grand scheme of things but I'm a little bummed that we're not going to make it to a year. I'm in the process of research the best formulas. I'm still planning to breastfeed/pump and hopefully 75% of your milk will come from me :) 

We started solids this month and you are in love. You are an eating machine. I'm not as great at diversifying your meals as I was with the twins but we're doing the best we can. You've had apples, plums, bananas, oatmeal, sweet potatoes, carrots, butternut squash, cheerios, goldfish, and oyster crackers. Applesauce is your favorite but you will put down a 4oz pouch and not think twice about it. I am getting ready to make a bunch of baby foods this weekend! I took a different approach and bought tons of organic pouches for you to try new foods and then I plan on making the stuff you really like. You are great with your pincher grip and almost immediately were able to eat cheerios off your tray. You also took to baby food so well! You can do the pouch without a spoon! You can chew well and I don't even really mash your bananas anymore. It's so much more fun the second time around. I'm more comfortable feeding you and you love the independence of eating big kid food. 

When we are able to be home for you, you're awesome at being on  schedule. Recently, we've had lots of dr appointments for mommy and we've sort of messed up all your nap times. On a normal day we wake you up between 7-7:30 and you have a 6oz bottle. You play and hang out until 9:30 and head to sleep until 10:30. You take another bottle between 10:30-11. You play until 12 then go down for a nap until 1:30-2. You wake up, drink another 6oz and play until 3:30. You nap from 3:30-5 and then you are up until your last bottle at 7pm. We finally cut the cord with your 5am feedings. It took a solid week of crying it out for almost two hours (I would wake up and stare at your monitor for hours until you went back to sleep- so painful for me!) but you got it and now are sleeping soundly for 12 hours and seem to love it!

You are hitting milestones like crazy! You started crawling and then about two weeks later you were pulling up. You pull up on everything! Right at your 7 month birthday you started cruising and now you're moving around furniture like a pro. You are also great at getting back down after you stand up. You still don't like to sit. You can for a few minutes but you always transition to crawling and are off!! You have had a few falls from a standing position but you cry for a second and then want to try again. You are a very determined baby. You laugh out loud and it is the best sound. You have an amazing smile and are always go generous with it. You seriously are so happy and soooo cute. You've gained some weight and have the sweetest little thigh rolls and the biggest chipmunk cheeks. Sometimes I check for cheerios in them because I just don't think they can be that big on their own!

Emma Cate takes you in very small doses. You love to smile at her and she'll smile back but that is about the extend of your relationship. Holden just adores you and you adore him. He stands by your carseat when I get it out of the car and always asks about you. Today I found him playing peek a boo with you in your crib. You were laughing like I've never heard you laugh before! The bond between you too is so adorable. Both Emma Cate and Holden love to sing to you when you're crying. Their favorite is ABCD.

Shepherd:
Nicknames: Pherd (as in she-pherd... everyone makes fun of me when I call you that!) Shep, Sheppie, Shep Shep, Sheppie Beppie, keeks, (like that progression there....!) 
Weight: ?
Height: ?
Hair:  dark blonde. It's grown in a little! Probably the most even of all your siblings
Eyes: very dark blue
Clothes: all 6 months and you've grown out of a lot of those! Mostly 9-12 months now
Diapers: We are in bum genius 4.0 all the time. You are on the tiniest rise in the BGs and we leave three columns of snaps showing. We switched to pampers at night because you were soaking through everything.
Eating: A 5-6oz bottle every 4 hours 
Likes: Smiling (you are such a happy baby!), crawling, standing up, climbing in the book baskets, cruising around the coffee table, getting into everything, pulling mommy's hair, starting to have separation anxiety when mommy leaves the room,sophie toy, climbing on the fireplace, exersaucer, sleeping on your belly with your tush in the air, playing with your brother, following his siblings around the house (we leave you in a room and you power crawl after us, pulling the dog's fur,
Dislikes: nothing really!
Development: You're way ahead with your gross motor.You can crawl with the best of them, sit pretty well (we have to put you in sitting position), can go from sitting to crawling, you are start to pull up on things (ahhh!), you are becoming babbly and I can't wait for your first words!
Words: not yet!
Teeth: not yet but man has that drooling increased!

Extra:

Baby Shep 6 Months

Well I didn't get your 5 month post up but am determined to do your 6th month. I've been praying for things to slow down but each day moves faster and faster and I can't believe you have been in our family for 6 whole months! Just the other day I was sort of shocked to realize that you need to start eating baby food! Ahhh you're growing up way to fast!

What our life is like:
Things have been pretty crazy. You lost 2 pounds between your 4th and 5th month and we had to stop nursing and switch to pumping and bottle feeding. I'm sad our nursing days are pretty much over but still thankful I can provide for you. I'm currently not producing enough to meet your daily needs but luckily we've got lots in the freezer from the first two months. 

We changed up the schedule a bit and had to add in some extra feedings to get your weight back up. We wake you up between 7-7:30 and you have a 6oz bottle. You play and hang out until 9:30 and head to sleep until 10:30. You take another bottle between 10:30-11. You play until 12 then go down for a nap until 1:30-2. You wake up, drink another 6oz and play until 3:30. You nap from 3:30-5 and then you are up until your last bottle at 8pm. You have been a little better at sleeping through the night but are still waking around 5am for another bottle. Mommy and Daddy are TIRED! I think we've only slept through the night 3 or 4 times since you arrive 6 months ago! Thank GOODNESS you are a wonderful baby during the day!

You are so go with the flow and independent. You are a champ at holding your bottle and prefer to hold it instead of me giving it to you. I still try to cuddle you when you take it so that I still feel like you're my tiny little baby.

You've had a big two months. Some highlights include: attending cheerleading camp, baby boehm's shower, nursery during church, ditching your swaddle, first trip to Baden lake, aunt allie's wedding, learning to scoot backwards, surgery on your hydrocele, learning to sit up (still working on it!),a visit to Gran's house, crawling (seriously at 5 months!), bidding Bo farewell as she moved to London, going apple picking, festival in the park, family reunion, swung on your new swing set, road the light rail uptown, walked in the Race for the Cure, went to family day at Daddy's job, attend the fall picnic in our neighborhood, and ate your first bite of applesauce!

Recently, you have loved to be on your own and independent. You crawl all over the family room and come find us whenever we are out of sight. We got a new kitchen table and your high char is at the head and you love sitting with everyone while we eat (which prompted your first taste of baby food). You still love your exersaucer. We are working on sitting up but its hard because you like to be on the go! You can transition from a seated to crawling position. Your favorite toy is your curiosity cube. You are a great napper!

Holden has really taken to you this month. I find you both on your bellies playing trains and airplanes. So sweet to watch you and your brother. He loves you so much and showers you with kisses. Emma Cate is mommy's helper and puts your paci in when you're crying and tries to feed you your bottle but gets frustrated when you prefer to hold it yourself. She's also great at wiping your face and putting your dirty bottles in the sink.


Shepherd:
Nicknames: Pherd (as in she-pherd... everyone makes fun of me when I call you that!) Shep, Sheppie, Shep Shep, Sheppie Beppie, Mon-kiki, kiki, keeks, (like that progression there....!) Emma Cate calls you sheppie sheppie sheppie sheppie
Weight: 15lbs 1oz
Height: 26 inches
Hair:  dark blonde. It's grown in a little! Probably the most even of all your siblings
Eyes: very dark blue
Clothes: all 6 months and you've grown out of a lot of those! Mostly 9-12 months now
Diapers: We are in bum genius 4.0 all the time. You are on the tiniest rise in the BGs and we leave three columns of snaps showing. We switched to pampers at night because you were soaking through everything.
Eating: A 5-6oz bottle every 4 hours and normally one night time feeding (which our doctor has told us that we need to drop!)
Likes: Smiling (you are such a happy baby!), crawling, getting into everything, pulling mommy's hair, starting to have separation anxiety when mommy leaves the room, toy football, climbing on the fireplace, exersaucer, sleeping on your belly, playing airplanes with his brother, following his siblings around the house, pulling the dog's fur, your curiosity cube. 
Dislikes: crying it out, sleeping through the night
Development: You're way ahead with your gross motor.You can crawl with the best of them, sit pretty well (we have to put you in sitting position), can go from sitting to crawling, you are start to pull up on things (ahhh!), you are becoming babbly and I can't wait for your first words!
Words: not yet!
Teeth: not yet but man has that drooling increased!

Extra:

Baby Shep 4 Months Old

This post is a little behind because things have gotten crazy since you turned 4 months but I'm thinking back to what you were like at 4 months because I am going to make sure I get your 5 month post up on time!

What our life is like:
We finally got on a schedule! You wake up around 7am and nurse and then sleep from 9-11 and nurse again and then play from 11-1, nurse and then nap from 1-3 and nurse and then play until your catnap at 6 and then you eat for the night at 7 and are off to bed. You still don't sleep through the night consistently. You are normally up once for a paci and usually a feeding sometime between 4 and 5. Mommy and Daddy are just a little on the sleepy side!

You are a pretty good and efficient nurser and I don't even know the last time I've pumped (well I guess at the beginning of the month for aunt allie's bachelorette party!)

We've been on the go plenty this month. You visited your Daddy at work for the first time and slept through the entire visit! We'll have to bring you back soon so everyone can hold you. We also left you alone overnight with your Gran while Mommy and Daddy went on bachelor/bachelorette weekends with Aunt Allie and Uncle Brett. You went to the pool and got to stick your feet in the water! You thought this was pretty fun! You've been to the Y a LOT! You are so happy in the baby room. I used to take you with me to the stroller class but you seem to much prefer playing in the baby room to hanging out in your stroller. We went on two playdates and you got to meet some cute little ladies! You are incredibly smiley! We went to the park and you got in the swing for the first time. We didn't push you but you just loved hanging out.

You are finding your place in our family. You LOVE to be in the exersaucer and right in the middle of the action when your brother and sister are running around like crazy people. Emma Cate does not like it when you cry (no cry sheppie- no cry!) and will bring you a paci and shake her finger at you to stop crying. Holden is warming up to you big time. He gives you random hugs and I have to watch out because he likes to squeeze pretty tight!

Now for some milestones.. you continue to impress us with you strenght! You are rolling from belly to back and back to belly. You giggle when we tickle your neck and it is soooo precious! We went to see a specialist for your acid reflux because it got to the point where you were crying ALL THE TIME... (in retrospect- I've learned this month it was because you weren't eating enough) but we switched up your meds and things called down a lot. You started napping with your arms out of your swaddle. We went back and forth with this all month. You really LOVE to be swaddled but we found you on your belly at one point and knew you couldn't stay wrapped up forever! We also went back to the kidney doctor and you are ALL IN THE CLEAR. We are soooo thankful for all the prayers and that there are absolutely no issues with your kidneys at this time. You do have a hyrdocele like your brother and we'll go in for surgery this month. You also rolled off the couch and onto the floor and sent me into a fit of tears on the nurses hotline. You stopped crying immediately after I picked you up but man was it scary to see you fall... won't be putting you up there anymore! You are holding your head/body up like a champ and enjoying playing on your tummy time mat.


Shepherd:
Nicknames: Pherd (as in she-pherd... everyone makes fun of me when I call you that!) Shep, Sheppie, Shep Shep, Sheppie Beppie, Beppie, Monkey, Mon-kiki, kiki, keeks, (like that progression there....!) Emma Cate calls you sheppie sheppie sheppie sheppie
Weight: not sure
Height: not sure
Hair:  dark blonde. It's grown in a little! Probably the most even of all your siblings
Eyes: very dark blue
Clothes: mostly 6 months but seeming like your 3 months aren't super tight, just a little short.
Diapers: We are in bum genius 4.0 all the time. You are on the tiniest rise in the BGs and we leave two columns of snaps showing. We switched to pampers at night because you were soaking through everything.
Eating: Nursing every 3-4 hours and longer at night.
Likes: being held/sitting upright, being swaddled (sorry we have to take this one away), being tickled, you are loving tummy time and stay there for a while. You also LOVE your exersaucer and the time you spend one on one with mommy and daddy talking baby talk. We get the biggest smiles, coos, and giggles. You love to pull mommy's hair. You love watching Emma Cate and Holden and cry if you are not where the action is. 
Dislikes: not too much... sleeping through the night maybe? 
Development: You are just really strong and really ahead of the curve regarding development. You are a rolling machine. You smile and laugh, you grab at objects and love the toys dangling from the playmat. You love your curiosity cube and looking in the mirror. You like to stand holding our hands. 
Words: not yet!
Teeth: not yet but man has that drooling increased!

Extra:
You are still my little tv watcher. I try to not have it on but some days it is so needed to keep the twins happy. You are a super easy going baby (once we figured out your meds) and so go with the flow. You are very observant of the world around you and I'm guessing you're going to be a smart one after watching you take everything in. 

Your brother and sister are so sweet with you. Emma Cate freaks out when you cry and starts to cry herself and says "no cry sheppie", "mama sheppie no cry... mama!". They also think that your drool is spit and I hear "Sheppie pit" a million times a day! They are always concerned for you. They are obsessed with you in the exersaucer. They play games with you and sing to you while you're in there. Holden can't wait for you to grow up and be rough and tough with him. He is still using your little head as a road for his cars when I'm not looking. Both he and Emma Cate love to give you kisses and hugs and always ask about their "baby shep". When I get them out of their cribs in the morning I always have you with me and they say "hey baby shep!" with such excitement. I wonder how long you'll be called "baby shep".

I also want to add in how much you are loving your aunt bo right now. We have been lucky to have her around this summer as she is about to move to london for two years. I think you've bonded over being the third child and Boey is always looking out for you. You love when she holds you and light up when she talks to you. Aunt Allie loves on you plenty but you've got this third child things going on with Bo and you'll be so sad when she moves! 

You really are the sweetest baby and so alert. You hang in there but we both get so excited when everyone else is sleeping and we get some one on one time. We play and cuddle and laugh! I'm always covered in shedding rug because we are always on the ground playing. I love that you are so patient with me and always have a smile waiting for me when its your turn to be played with. I love you so much Sheppie Beppie! 

And for some pictures

a little facetime with aunt bo

emma cate was reading to you about all the animals in the zoo

first dip in the pool

unfortunately, all of our pictures together are pretty much selfies. I don't get the big camera out nearly as much as I used to but I always try to take a few of us together :) 

snuggling in aunt bo's baby blanket after your 3 month pictures