Retrieval is Scheduled!!!

YAY! I'm so excited! I've been keeping quiet this week praying that everything would go as soothly as possible. Except for being really tired and a few emotional outbursts, my IVF experience has been wonderful. After starting the stims on Monday, 8/22 I went to the office on Thursday 8/25 for bloodwork and my levels looked great so my medications were reduced. I returned on Sunday 8/28 for my first ultrasound/egg count. The weekend Dr. counted 10 eggs and said there were probably more. He guessed I would be great for retrieval on Thursday. I met with my regular doctor this morning for another ultrasound and he counted 29 eggs! I was soo excited. Granted, a lot probably won't be mature but regardless, I'm praying we've got a good shot! He said that I have responded very nicely and am right on target with all my levels. He wanted to check my bloodwork and would call me to let me know if the retrieval was going to be on Thursday or Friday.

I just got the call and my retrieval is scheduled for Thursday morning at 8:30! I am so just excited and so thankful that this process has been great so far. Although I will be devastated if I am not pregnant after this is over, I know that I am totally capable of doing this again :) 

I'll have the retrieval surgery on Thursday morning and spend Thursday, Friday, and Saturday in bed recovering. Anyone want to lend me their netflix subscription or some DVDs? Hopefully some of the eggs will fertilize and become embryos and then on to blastocysts. If we are so lucky, our transfer will be on Tuesday 9/6. If they don't make it to blastocyst stage, our transfer will be on Sunday 9/4. Either way I'll be on another 3 days of bedrest. Stop by if you're in town!

My whole family (minus my dear hubby) is headed to Michigan for the weekend and I'm a little nervous for the retrieval. I've only been put under once in my life and had a really bad reaction once I was home and alert after that surgery. Please keep us in your prayers this week! I would greatly appreciate it!

Here we go!

So last Friday was pretty much a disaster. The only thing I found comfort in was my husband and Olive Garden pasta (of course). Saturday was much better as I got a surprise visit from mother nature (how corny does that sound...) right before we were leaving for Atlanta. Luckily, I was still able to go out of town and enjoy the weekend with my family. We enjoyed a yummy dinner out at J. Alexander's on Saturday night and on Sunday, we had a great time tubing down the Cartecay River in Ellijay, GA. The river was very shallow at some points and we had some issues with getting stuck. I'm a bit bruised from falling off my tube while going down a small rapid but overall it was tons of fun.

I went in to see the doctor yesterday morning for bloodwork and around 4pm my IVF nurse called me back to let me know that I could begin taking my stimulant drugs. I was so excited to get this off and running! I took a million notes about all of the combinations of drugs I was supposed to take. We started with 225u of a egg-growing drug called Gonal-F, 10u of low dose HCG, and 5u of the Lupron that I've been taking. On top of this, Jay and I are each on a course of antibiotics to prevent any type of infection. I have to take two shots every morning and two every evening. I need to take a minute to say what a wonderful husband I have when it comes to IVF. He got up earlier than me this morning to take the meds out of the fridge to warm up so that they didn't hurt as bad. He also has been great at filling all the shots. It can get really confusing as each shot is done differently. I get to "enjoy" the process as much as possible by laying in my bed relaxing as Jay preps everything. I'm really excited and hopeful to begin the process! I have an ultrasound scheduled for Thursday to see if any follicles have developed! Yay!!!

Terrible

Today has been awful. I woke up late and hurried to get ready for my appointment with the RE. I was supposed to get the go ahead to start taking the ovary stimulating medications today. The office visit was normal, blood work and ultrasound. During the ultrasound my doctor seemed concerned that I hadn't started  my period yet. He didn't say a whole lot but to wait for the blood work to come in. I left with a really terrible feeling that things were not going as planned. Add that to some cheerleading drama that was going on and you have one extremely sad and stressed girl.

I tried to stay positive today but felt like crying every other minute. I thought a movie might help and met my sister to see Glee 3D. During the movie the nurse called and told me that my uterine lining was too think to to proceed and that I can't move ahead until my period starts. If it doesn't start by Tuesday, I need to go in for more blood work. I was so frustrated! I just want to get this thing going. So many people around me are pregnant and seem to get that way just by looking at their partner. I am still very happy and excited for them but also very jealous. Why can't it be me.

I was also really bummed because we were supposed to leave for Atlanta tomorrow morning. Bo was going with us and my Aunt was flying in. We had just made plans today to go river tubing. Probably one of the last times that I could go and float down a river while having a beer and have no other worries. Doctor's orders have me staying in town all weekend in case I start my period. I am so upset about missing family fun time. I just wanted to have a fun weekend away from all the stress I'm feeling with starting work, coaching 100 girls, suing a car dealership, and worrying about IVF. I am supposed to be de-stressing and I feel like the stress just keeps piling on. I know this is a whine-y post but I am just so bummed.

I was supposed to talk with one of my assistant coaches today about the drama going on with cheer but couldn't bring myself to do it, as I'm bursting into tears every other minutes. I text her to let her know that I couldn't chat today because of upsetting news at the doctor and she reminded me to give it to God. That's what I am now trying to do. It's HARD! But I'm working on it!

On another note, since starting back at school I've had a lot of people ask me if I'm pregnant yet. I tried to answer the question by drinking a few glasses of wine at the faculty party but some people didn't get the message. I've heard the response, "don't worry, it'll happen" more times than I can count. Here is a bit of advice to anyone dealing with an infertile friend, DON'T SAY THAT! You have no idea if it will happen or not, your words don't help me; they just annoy me. Just say, "I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this. I'll keep you in my prayers and if you ever want to talk, I'll be here to listen". That's it. You don't have to say a lot. Just show your support. It means so much to me.

Boring Titles

I just cannot seem to come up with creative titles. All of them start out like "Here we go again" or "It's been a long time blog". So we'll just leave this one boring.

I started back to school yesterday and its been fun seeing all my coworkers again. I think that summer is a good break to get away from those people that have annoyed you for the last ten months enough so that you are actually happy to see them again and gear up for another year together. Most people like to start fresh for New Years but I've always preferred the beginning of school. I've been lucky to have summers off and fresh starts for as long as I can remember. One thing that I really want to work on this year is preaching my faith through actions.

Preach the Gospel Always: When Necessary, Use Words

We've been practicing cheerleading at St. Gabriel's this summer and this quote painted on the wall of the gym stood out to me. At our faculty meetings yesterday, our principal included it in his goals for the year. Some attribute the quote to St. Francis, but it doesn't really matter to me who said it. It is just a good reminder to show what being a Christian looks like. One of the things I hate the most about religion are people who don't practice what they preach.

Other happenings this week include the payment of IVF. I actually shook when I handed the financial advisor my plethora of credit cards. It wasn't about the cost, but the finality of what we are doing. There is no turning back now, no more "lets keep trying naturally", we are doing this! I'm excited and scared at the same time. We start with the heavy drugs tomorrow. We have about a 50% chance this will work. While I am hopeful I also don't want to get my hopes up. Please keep us in your prayers!

No turning back

So I've been really good with this IVF stuff if I do say so myself. I finished all my birth control pills on August 11th and was amazed that 24 days had gone by. I felt like I waited forever to start them and then it felt like I was going to be on them forever. We started the lupron injections just over a week ago. Things were great the first day, I couldn't feel the shot, and I thought it was going to be cake. I actually had to set my alarm on my phone to remind me to get Jay to do the injection. The second day Jay prepared the injection and decided to wipe the needle with alcohol. Big mistake, major burning and tears and anxiety on my part (remember, I am not a fan of shots). The third day I filled the syringe with the vial of medicine and got an air bubble in it. It burned again and I cried, again. After that Jay decided to be in charge of shots. He does a great job! We've learned that the alcohol wipe must completely dry on my stomach in order for the shot not to burn.

We have a great little routine where I go relax in bed and he prepares the shot and brings it back to the bedroom for me. I lay on my back and cover my face with a pillow and he gives me the shot. I know I sound like an absolute wuss but the thought of the needle going in my skin makes me want to pass out. Our system has been working out really well. Even though I normally don't feel the shot, I still have little bruises all over my stomach (glad I invested in tankinis this summer!). I was surprised that I bruised from the shot because I never bruise!

I have been feeling great about this entire process. I didn't know what people were complaining about and why it was so hard. And then it hit me. Friday night it came on like a ton of bricks. I hadn't really noticed any side effects prior to Friday with the exception of being really cold (like socks, sweatpants, and hoodie + snuggie). Friday night I felt extreme tiredness. I have been sleeping a ton! Like asleep by 9, exhausted rolling out of bed at 8am because I have to and taking naps throughout the day. I've also started feeling a bit emotional and have been really missing my mom lately.  I'm really thankful that Jay is so supportive both in dealing with my emotions and being my nurse. I have talked to several other IVFers and none of their husbands were really involved. I am lucky to have him :)

This has been a pretty boring post. I don't have a lot to say beside documenting some things I want to remember. Highlights of normal life this week include starting teacher workdays, my cheerleading squad's first performance and football game this Saturday, a visit from my mom and sister tomorrow, a possible viewing of The Help, and two church dinners with folks I haven't seen in awhile.

We're still in limbo with the Tahoe and hope to settle that soon. We did purchase another Tahoe and I love it!  A huge tree fell in our backyard on Thursday and Jay has spent the weekend clearing the yard. I've had cheerleading camp everyday for the past week and have been eating out like crazy. Looking forward to Tuesday's farmers market and getting back in the kitchen to cook. More regular non-IVF posts to come! Thanks to those of you that are still reading! :)