Whirlwind of Emotions- We're Pregnant!!!

Again last night I had crazy dreams. I dreamt I had a positive pregnancy test and was telling EVERYONE including my kids at school! I woke up and realized I was only dreaming and continued with my early morning pregnancy test routine. It was again negative and I was sooo upset. I bleed a tiny bit too. I also noticed a ton of acne on my chin which usually appears before my period. I was in a really sad mood as I headed to work. Jay had to go to an early meeting and was unavailable. I called my parents on my drive to work and pretty much lost it. I had even skipped mascara this morning because I knew this would happen.

I spent the rest of the day on the verge of tears. I researched adoption, sperm donors, and new ivf clinics. I called the nurse early in the morning to report the additional bleeding and she called me back during my lunch to tell me that it could go either way. I was at a loss and completely devastated. I wondered if I would ever be a mom. It was terrible. Luckily I had a very busy cheerleading practice and it kept my mind away from my infertility.

I was talking to my mom on the way home from practice and discussing the days events and having a pity party for myself. I walked into our bathroom and (I know this is yuck) but noticed the pregnancy test i had thrown in the trash that morning. It had a faint pink pregnant line on it. I knew results didn't count hours after the test was taken but I decided to take a new one anyway. To my utter shock a faint pink line appeared again! Holy cow I may be pregnant. Jay ran to target to pick up more of the expensive tests (I had been using dollar store brand) and I took another one when he returned. OH MY GOD! That pink lined showed up again. I am pregnant. I am so excited but so cautious. I feel like I'm pregnant until I'm not. Here's to hoping it will stay pink! Luckily when I talked to the nurse today I asked her to move my Beta test up. On Friday I should know if I am really pregnant. Ahh this is crazy!