As a new mom, I see a lot of things, people, and lives I am envious of. I am envious of families that can afford for the mother to stay at home. We are working on this but not quite there yet. The catch 22 of this is that I could stay at home tomorrow IF we were willing to give up a few things. Maybe not have the highest trim level car, maybe not dress my kids in boutique clothing, maybe not have the highest level of cable TV, maybe not go on vacations. I WANT to be with my kids but I also want to live the way that we have always lived. Where do I find the balance? Would I be as happy without the material things? I should be, but will I?
I am envious of all the fashion bloggers in adorable outfits. I have pretty much given up on shopping for myself and am wearing the same winter clothes I wore two years ago. I get much more pleasure out of dressing my kids! BUT I still see these mom's and bloggers in adorable clothes and I want them! I also wonder how they afford them? Jay and I make a pretty good living but am I able to order everything I like that goes on sale a Jcrew? No.
I am envious of interior design blogs (maybe I should stop reading blogs...). These houses are beautiful and I don't see how their owners have the time dedicate to scouring antique shops and thrift stores to decorate their homes. I felt like I LOVED my home when I decorated it three years ago. Now, I feel like I need an entire new color palate and "grown up" furnishings. The butcher block countertops that I found so much character in now seem cheap. I question why I ever went with green glass tile backsplash. Why didn't I do a classic white subway that would last me for years?
I am envious of parent's that can afford to send their kids to private schools. After working in one, I feel like the kids to have a big advantage. The classroom distractions are much less and the curriculum is geared towards critical thinking versus learning for a test. I know though that students are missing out on diversity and aren't being exposed to real world issues like poverty.
I am envious of a lot of things. At the same time, I go through moments, especially when I am praying over my children at night that my heart swells with gratitude. I am thankful. I am thankful to God for a nice home. it's not the biggest or the best decorated but it is filled with love and that's enough for me. I am thankful for a caring, present, hard-working husband who loves me unconditionally. I am thankful for the father that he is to our children. I am thankful for my children. It took us a lot of hard work to get them and I am so thankful to God and to modern medicine. I am thankful for my supportive, close knit family. I am thankful to my parents for all the lessons they taught us growing up. I am thankful that I am well rounded, I can appreciate fine things but know that they aren't everything. I can appreciate all sorts of different people. I can appreciate that I learned not to judge people based on things, in fact, I appreciate that I was taught not to judge at all.
So how do you do it? How do you remember to remain thankful and happy while pushing away envy. Can envy be a good thing? How do you stay grounded while appreciating nice things. Where is the balance? Can you let me know how to find it?
This is a battle I fight daily. I don't envy stay at home moms (I am quite thankful to be a working mom), but I do envy a million other things - vacations, nice furniture, not having to stress about money. I don't have the answers, but I just remember not to dwell in the envy. We can't compare our mundane lives with the highlight reel of other people's lives. And I try to remember that blogs are usually the highlight reel of a blogger's life. I'm right there with you, sister!
ReplyDeleteI'm visiting your blog from Kelly's Korner, but this post really struck a chord with me. When I start to think like this I remember my mother telling me "comparison is the thief of joy" and try and stop the negative thoughts. I wanted to comment and let you know you are not alone in your envy. I think the grass is always greener on the other side.
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