Birth Day Morning

In a few short hours we will welcome baby Shep into our lives. Today has been surreal, a mixture of the ordinary with a looming future. It's bewildering yet exciting to know that our lives will soon be changed forever. I've known for a while that Shep would be born today but it didn't really hit me until last night. My mom has been keeping the twins for the past two days while I've been at work (they are all on spring break). I had a dentist appointment after school and went by her house around 5 and they were still asleep. I was able to work on monogramming some last minute things. Thankfully Jay's game was cancelled and he was able to join us for dinner at my mom's. We stayed late and hung out. My mom offered for the twins to stay at her house but I really wanted to put them to bed for the last night as a family of four.

We got home around 8:30 and they were both bonkers. Jay was stressed (he has an exam tomorrow evening) and wanted to get some studying done but I felt the need to bring the babies into our bed and just hang out. They bounced and sang and tried to climb the headboard. I took videos of them and asked them questions about becoming a big brother and a big sister. They have no clue their world will forever be changed today. We got them in pjs and read lots of books and sang some extra songs before bed time. Everyone was so happy and loving and we got lots of love you baby Sheps and both were even quiet and reverent during bedtime prayers. Emma Cate kneeled in her crib and put her hands together when we prayed. Sweetest thing ever.

After bed we got down to business, picking up the house and getting the last things done in Shep's room. I made a quick run to whole foods to pick up meals for the week. I got home and decided to decorate for Easter in case we are home by then. Jay and I enjoyed cereal at mid-night (the last time I could eat or drink until after delivery today!).

All day yesterday I had been feeling very anxious and unsettled. There has a been some major family drama over the past few days that has really been putting stress on our family. I have decided to let it go (cue Elsa) for now. This week we learned that the 2 year old son of a couple in our Sunday school class had passed away after a long fight with cancer. I kept hearing other stories of children and parents of young children dying. I was really struggling with shaking this anxiety of death. I finally laid down last night and said my prayers. I asked God to watch over my family and to help me with this weird anxiety I was feeling. I slept like an absolute baby, not waking once. I woke up with this amazing sense of peace and am feeling so calm!

I took a long shower and did my hair before coming into work. My mom came over this morning and hung out and made my bed while I got ready. I headed off to work with a very empty stomach and a cheerful heart and mind. I feel so good about today and am so hopeful this peaceful feeling stays with me :) I am feeling great. Not quite sure I'm ready for this baby to come because this pregnancy has been so easy and I'm not at the "omg get this baby out of me point!". It has been so fun being pregnant with one baby. I am ready to meet this guy and get to know him. He seems pretty chill but has bursts of energy! I'm excited to learn about his personality and can't wait to see who he looks like or how big he is! I was feeling a TON of movement last night down really low and would have to stop walking because I felt like he was going to come out. I think he knows his birthday is near!

39 weeks and 5 days

I'm leaving work around 11:30 to head home to grab our hospital bags and kiss our babies in case we don't see them tonight. I have to be at the hospital at 12:30 and will head back to surgery around 2:30 if all goes well. Please keep us in your prayers today. Specifically I'm asking for prayers for the doctors and nurses that will take care of us, for Shep's health and specifically his kidney, and for me and the c-section. I lost a lot of blood with the other one and am hoping this one goes well. Also for me that I don't get nauseous from the anesthesia. Please also keep the McElwain-Turners in your prayers as they will be laying their son to rest while I am in surgery delivering Shep.